Tom Marvolo Riddle (and family)

* = Post-OOP
** = Post-HBP
***= Post-DH

See also Salazar's Voldemort: The Mastermind of the Dark Mark, a dramatization of the gradual transformation of Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort, as well as Tom Riddle, a full-length musical by Anon E. Mouse

Copyright 2002, 2005 by Caius Marcius except When I'm Voldemort Copyright 2002 by Tabouli; I Am Lord Voldemort and Tom Riddle Went Down To Hogwarts Copyright 2002, 2005 by Jason LeBouef; Thomas Riddle Copyright 2002 by Mariner; Voldemort (Not Thomas M. Riddle) Copyright 2003 by Gail; Riddle's Search and Voldemort's Triumph Copyright 2003 by Jonathan Pessin; Tommy's Teddy Copyright 2003 by Iggy McSnurd; AK in the UK and Does He Love Me? Copyright 2004, 2005 by Ginger; Riddle Copyright 2005 by Red Scharlach; Wrong Way Copyright 2006 by The Final Stillness of Saturn; The Ballad of Tom Riddle Copyright 2009 by Eric Oppen

A filk by Tabouli to the tune of The Beatles' When I'm Sixty Four

SCENE: TOM RIDDLE, having fiendishly purloined Professor Trelawney's crystal ball, is peering into it, using his dark powers to glean glimpses of his future. What he sees drains the blood from his handsome young face. Surely he would never be so stupid as to alienate his entire support base by getting himself totalled by a tot and then resurrected as a snake-monster... would he?

"When I grow old and ugly as sin,
Many years from now,
Will my team respect me with a pallid skin,
Blood-red eyes and skeleton-thin?

"When my face looks and sounds like a snake,
Will they shut the door?
Will they still need me, will they still heed me,
When I'm Voldemort?

"How long will they wait?
And when I press the Mark,
Will they Apparate?

"When little Harry drives me away
Bouncing my AK,
Will the 'Eaters still be standing by my side,
Will this Potter scupper my pride?

"Will they pretend they weren't on my team?
Will I lose the war?
Will they still need me, will they still heed me,
When I'm Voldemort?"

Every night Tom worried that his future wouldn't turn out right,
Then it all came clear:
"Well, if they're not brave,
I'll have them on their knees,
I'll make them behave!

"I'm making plans, now, I will be fine -
Quirrell will be mine!
Hide beneath his turban, be his second face,
Get young Barty onto the case

"With Harry's blood, and Wormtail's right hand,
Stronger than before,
I'll make them heed me, oh yes indeedy!
When I'm Voldemort!"

How Can I Solve My Problem With Kedavra?

To the tune of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? from Rodgers and Hammerstein's The Sound of Music

THE SCENE: Hogwarts in the mid-1940s. The young TOM RIDDLE ponders revenge against his estranged father

TOM:
He broke Mum's heart and made her die
Because she was a witch
He waltzed away and left his son
Abandoned in a ditch.
On me bequeathed his own name, an insult to injury.
And starting now I'm looking for some payback
In Hangleton my father lives a life of sheltered ease
But to the Dark Arts library I just now filched the keys
To find an answer for this Riddle ought to be a breeze

Segue to the restricted Dark Arts section of the library, late at night. Enter TOM, alone

These volumes sitting on the shelves go way back
I'm gonna show 'em that I've got the smarts
To master the Dark Arts

He inspects the volumes on the shelves.

How can I solve my problem with Kedavra?
How can I get my wand to blaze green light?
How do I do the spell that makes cadavers
Who'll swing from a gibbet
And will be embalmed
Tonight?

He selects an ancient and forbidding-looking textbook and begins avidly reading it.

Many a risky curse is in these courses
Many a chilling charm is in these texts
But how can my dad be killed
And his beating heart be stilled
In such a way that I'm not a suspect?

How can I solve my problem with Kedavra?
How can I cast a murder with a spell?

Suddenly TOM finds the incantation he needs in the pages of the book

I now can reject the mud of the Muggle whose foul blood
Taints my veins while making me as mad as hell
Irresistible in power
Yet as silent as a flower
It's demonic, it's disaster, a death knell.
It manslaughters any man
Liquidates like nothing can
An apocalypse collapsing in thin air

TOM pretends to address his father directly

"My poor mother you reviled,
Thomas Riddle, I'm her child,
Your King Oedipus, your Mordred,
Your nightmare."

Having mastered the curse, TOM exits the library

Now I can solve my problem with Kedavra
Now I can make this massacre occur
'Cause when I say the word that is Kedavra
He won't know what hit him
He will be a corpse
For sure

Money it seems has bought for him a soft life
Money he thinks will keep him safe and sound
But to him I'll Apparate
And make him Thomas the Late
And my dear dad will soon sleep underground.

Then I'll have solved my problem with Kedavra
Once I have cast a murder with a spell…..

TOM vanishes.

A filk by Jonathan Pessin to the tune of I Need to Know from the musical Jekyll and Hyde.

Scene: TOM RIDDLE, shortly after leaving Hogwarts, is in a dark dungeon, surrounded by bubbling cauldrons, caged serpents, and other, less identifiable, items. RIDDLE is in the midst of his experiments to find a secret to immortality. He opens an ancient and secret tome, and as he pores over the pages, he sings:

RIDDLE:
I need to know
The nature of this 'death' that we cannot control.
I need to know
Why man's content to let himself be less than whole.

Why does he stagnate in weakness and 'mercy?'
What is it makes him be less than he should?
Why does he choose not to reach his potential?
A man is weak
If his soul will speak about 'good.'"

Finding what he has sought, Riddle begins brewing a potion. He takes out a vial of silvery liquid - obviously unicorn blood - and measures out a beakerful. He continues singing.

I need to find
A way to flee the death that's intertwined with man.
I need to try
To make myself the greatest wizard - if I can

One thing is certain - their 'evil' is Power.
Strength I must use if I ever must win.
I must find ways to prolong my existence
And if I must
I'll resort to the darkness of Sin!!

I need to go
Where no man has ventured before
To search for the key to the door
That will end all this foolish and empty decay!
But how to go?
I need to know!"

Riddle glances at the window. Outside, people pass by, blissfully ignorant of the darkness stewing inside. Disdainfully, Riddle turns from the window and continues to brew.

None shall guide me.
I know how to succeed!
With this potion inside me,
All mankind soon shall follow Lord Voldemort's lead!

For I can see
The truth other men cannot see
And I'll be things that others can't be
For I've courage to go where no angel will go!
And I will go!!
I need to know!

Riddle takes up the potion he has brewed and drinks it in one swallow, throwing the beaker aside, where it shatters against the wall. He convulses, and falls to the floor. His skin begins to pale, and his eyes, glaring in disdain at his mortal form's weakness, begin to glow a deep, bloody-hued red…

A filk by Jonathan Pessin to the tune of Alive and Alive Reprise from the musical Jekyll and Hyde.

Scene: In a dungeon - dark, dank, and ominous - TOM RIDDLE has just completed a Dark ritual, attempting to attain immortality (see my previous filk "Riddle's Search"). After drinking a smoking potion, RIDDLE has fallen to the floor in agony, where he has begun changing. When the excruciating transfiguration is complete, RIDDLE stands to his feet and looks at himself in a glass.

The transformation is remarkable. Where before stood a handsome, dark-haired young man, now stands a hideous creature. His eyes have grown blood-red, and the pupils are dark, soulless slits. His skin has blanched as white as a corpse, and his nose, once proud and aqualine, has shrunken back against his skull, making his nostrils appear mere slits against the pale flesh.

Gazing at this new, fearsome appearance in the mirror, RIDDLE exults in his success - this transformation might be the one… the one which grants him eternal life.

RIDDLE:
What is this feeling
Of power and drive
I've never known?
I feel alive!

I know the potion
Through which I will thrive,
Makes me now know
Why I'm alive!

Like the Darkness, it's hidden,
Sinister, deep, and unknown.
All shall do what I have bidden -
I shall rule them alone!

This is the summit
For which I did strive -
Never have I
Felt so alive!

There is no battle
I couldn't survive -
Feeling like this -
Feeling alive!

Power, like heavenly Nectar
Flows through my veins on this night.
Dark as a hideous spectre,
But blazing with light!

Now forever, I'll always survive!
Always flourish, and ever shall thrive!
It's a truth that cannot be denied.
It shall happen as long as I'm ALIVE!!!

Scene Change: It is many, many years later. VOLDEMORT has been existing as a creature of vapor and spirit for the past 14 years, but has now returned to form and full power. Wormtail has just robed him as he stepped out of his cauldron, and the triumph of the moment causes him to burst into song.

RIDDLE:
Dumbledore thought he could keep me at bay,
Now let that idiot see!
I knew the truth on that one fateful day,
That nothing could devastate me!

Soon his whole school will be shattered,
And I will have Dumbledore's head!
All of the Light shall be scattered,
Defeated or dead!

Tonight I'll plunder heaven blind,
Steal from all the gods!
Tonight I'll take from all mankind,
Conquer all the odds!

And I know I'll live on forever,
And rule all - a dark, freezing tide.
And I'll show the world
That tonight and forever,
They'll never defeat those with Power on their side!

Now forever, I'll always survive!
Always flourish, and ever shall thrive!
And my rule shall ne'er be denied
Now or ever, as
Voldemort's ALIVE!!!!!

Cackling in cruel laughter, VOLDEMORT turns his attention to young Harry Potter, who waits, tied to the tombstone…

A filk by Iggy McSnurd to the tune of Eddie's Teddy from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

DUMBLEDORE:
From the day he was born
He was evil.
He was the end
Of his mother's life.
She gave him a name

MCGONAGALL:
But to his father, he was nothing but shame.

DUMBLEDORE:
He was alone from the day she died.
From the day he left home
All he wanted
Was to rule the world
And sweet revenge
Slaying his foes

MCGONAGALL:
He brings evil wherever he goes!

DUMBLEDORE:
Harry caused him to almost die.

ALL:
When Tommy said he didn't like his Teddy
You know he was a no-good kid.
But when he ended your life, with a blast of green light

LUCIUS:
What a guy!

MOLLY:
He has to die.

DUMBLEDORE:
He nearly did.

WORMTAIL:
Everybody fears him.
Death Eaters, they revere him.
I said, hey, listen to me,
Do we really need Harry?
But he reprimanded then he ignored me.

DUMBLEDORE:
Then Harry was gone
From a portkey,
And Cedric was slain
Then Voldemort raved.

ALL:
Wha'd he say? Wha'd he say?

VOLDEMORT:
You're out of your head,
If you think that you won't soon be dead
Then I'll carry out my evil deeds. (evil laugh)

ALL:
When Tommy said he didn't like his Teddy
You know he was a no-good kid.
But when he ended your life, with a blast of green light

LUCIUS:
What a guy!

MOLLY:
He has to die.

DUMBLEDORE:
He nearly did.

ALL:
When Tommy said he didn't like his Teddy
You know he was a no-good kid.
But when he ended your life, with a blast of green light

LUCIUS:
What a guy! (Whoa, oh, ho.)

MOLLY:
He has to die. (Hey, hey, hey)

DUMBLEDORE:
He nearly did. (nearly did)

A filk by Eric Oppen to the tune of The Blackadder Theme

A flash of green across the pond,
He does his nasty doings for fun,
Beware his yew-and-phoenix wand,
Or else you may well end up undone!
Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle,
He can talk to a snake!
Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle,
With fear he'll make you shake!

Black are sins that he commits
And Black's a family in his service,
He does things that no law permits
The things he does make people nervous.
Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle,
He'll use that name no more!
Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle,
Is now Lord Voldemort!

A filk by Ginger to the tune of First Aid in the First Grade from Jonah: A Veggietales Movie

I think this is one of those filks that will have to be updated as new books come out.

Now little Tommy Riddle was a very nasty kid.
In the first Harry Potter book I read just what he did.
Went to Godrick's Hollow in the fall of '81.
Tried to kill a baby but he got himself undone.

It was an AK in the UK.
AK in the UK. AK in the UK.
Hide under the covers- cuz the Dark Lord's on his way.

Now little Tommy Riddle was a very nasty kid.
In the second Harry Potter book I read just what he did.
Went up to his grandfolks' house- C'mitted patricide.
Y' should have seen the looks upon their faces when they died.

It was an AK in the UK.
AK in the UK. AK in the UK.
Batten down the hatches- cuz the Dark Lord's on his way.

Now little Tommy Riddle was a very nasty kid.
In the third Harry Potter book I read just what he did.
After Peter ratted, James sent Lily on the run.
Voldy zapped them both but got zapped back by their son.

It was an AK in the UK.
AK in the UK. AK in the UK.
Bar the doors and windows- cuz the Dark Lord's on his way.

Now little Tommy Riddle was a very nasty kid.
In the fourth Harry Potter book I read just what he did.
Just an ugly baby, he could hardly hold a wand.
Sent a nosy Muggle right into the Great Beyond.

It was an AK in the UK.
AK in the UK. AK in the UK.
Someone owl an Auror- cuz the Dark Lord's on his way.

harmonica interlude

Fifth book!

Now little Tommy Riddle was a very nasty kid.
In the fifth Harry Potter book I read just what he did.
DE tried to wiggle out and take his oath all back-
Membership is lifelong, so bye-bye to Reg'lus Black.

It was an AK in the UK.
AK in the UK. AK in the UK.
Floo the kids to Exmoor- cuz the Dark Lord's on his way.
Floo the kids to Exmoor -cuz the Dark Lord's on his way!

A filk by The Final Stillness of Saturn to the tune of Sublime's Wrong Way

Tom was twelve-years-old and wanted to be Dark Lord,
Nobody ever told him it's the wrong way.
Make us all scared
'Cause his daddy never cared.
His race cannot be shared.
It's the wrong way.

He learned all that Hogwarts had to give.
He's out to make Muggles not live,
Actions impossible to forgive,
And it's all about Pure-Blood,
Just like he wanted.

The Death Eaters he called to his side,
While we're mournin' those who died,
It's the wrong way.
Harry will try, but he's just a little guy,
And Voldemort makes him cry
With his wrong way.

The only family Harry ever had
Tom had murdered: his godfather and dear mum and dad.
Tom needed his blood so tied Harry to the stone.
Guess he didn't think it gross that he used his father's bone.

Happy or when sad, Harry's always in his head.
Can't wait 'til Potter's dead.
It's the wrong way.
He plots all night ways to beat the light,
Believes his wrongs are right.
He is the wrong way.

So take, don't give, if you wanna live,
'Cause he will use the AK. Oh no!
It's up to you to keep yourself okay now,
Wait for them to save the day.
Go Harry!

He learned all that Hogwarts had to give.
Now, he makes it quite hard to live,
Makes tears just start rollin' down to our chins.
Doesn't even have Pure-Blood
He always wanted.

His dad ran away, and his mum, her life she gave,
And without them, every day
Turned him the wrong way.
Dad took a hike,
So Tom made it so dear old dad died,
Because he was always the wrong way.

He learned all Dumbledore had to give,
And he still couldn't be good, oh no.
He uses the curses hard to forgive,
And rejoices in the spilt blood
He always wanted.

A filk by Jason LeBouef to the tune of Earache My Eye by Cheech & Chong

How silly can a filk get? This one's for our HH'ers who were from the 60s/70s generation.. Wow man.

Jason wakes up and opens the window and turns on his PC. He brings up I Tunes and turns on some Cheech & Chong. Shortly, he begins typing out a filk.

Loud guitar and music starts

TOM RIDDLE:
My poppa killed my mama didn't have no love to give
And now I'm really angry and he hasn't long to live
My daddy he disowned me cause I'm wearing wizard's clothes
He threw me in an orphanage, it's magic that he loathes
Professor Dumbledore he said I had what it takes
For getting' Hagrid in trouble and talking to the snakes
(hahahaha)

guitar solo

The world's coming to an end, I don't give a care
Long as I can have death eaters and no Muggles there
And it don't bother me, if people think I'm scary
Cause I'm a big bad guy and I'm gonna kill Harry Harry Harry
HARRY
HARRY HARRY HARRY!!!!!

AAAHHHHH!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I AM LORD VOLDEMORT HAHAHAHA!!!!!
I have a new body and all my Death Eaters hahahahaha!!!!!
I only know three spells….. hahaha
Watch me killl!!! haha
You fools…. Haha

CAUIS (shouting)
I said turn that computer off and get ready for school

unplugs the computer

JASON
Heyyyyy!!!! What are you trying to do! You ruined my filk, man, I just wrote it…

A filk by Ginger to the tune of Does He Love You? by Reba McEntire with Linda Davis

Not that I condone Merope's actions, but I do understand her. DD's best guess was that she did eventually quit giving Tom the love potion. She must have hoped that he would come around to loving her for the real her. That must have been a leap of faith on her part, and one not taken lightly.

The original song is a duet between mistress and wife, wondering who their man loves more. I have recreated this effect by having Merope singing a duet with her reflection in the mirror. The reflection is what Tom sees.

MEROPE:
He's had the potion
For a while now.
When he drinks it
He wears a smile now.
As long as he's right here with me
In my arms is where he wants to be.

MIRROR:
But I'm the one he
Made his vow to.
I'm the one he
Gave his name to.
He'll never see your face
'Til his mind is put to right.
You have his body, his baby, but somehow,
It's just not right.

Chorus

MEROPE:
But does he love me?

MIRROR:
Does he love you?

MEROPE:
For the real me?

MIRROR:
For the real you?

MEROPE:
Is he seeing you?

MIRROR:
Is he seeing you?

BOTH:
When he looks at me?

MEROPE:
Is this all real or...

MIRROR:
Is this real or...

BOTH:
Just a fantasy?

MEROPE:
Does he love me?

MIRROR:
Does he love you?

BOTH:
Or what he sees in me?

end Chorus

MIRROR:
But when he sees me,
He sees such beauty.
Oh, how he wants me-
What he believes is me.

MEROPE:
And when I'm in his arms,
He thinks of no one else.
Oh, he believes in me,
But do I believe in myself?

Repeat Chorus

MEROPE:
I should not use this potion.

MIRROR:
He'll surely go insane.

MEROPE:
Cause I have everything to lose.

MIRROR:
But what, what could you really gain?

Repeat chorus