* = post-OOP
** = post-HBP
Copyright 2001-2002, 2006 by Caius Marcius except Their Lost Look Copyright 2001 by WeasleyTwin1; Act Clumsily, Longbottom Serenade and Low Self-Esteem Copyright 2002-2003 by Gail; Blame It All On My Memory Copyright 2002 by GiNnY; It's All About Fungi, Only Neville and Where Now is Trevor? Copyright 2003, 2005 by Ginger; You Can Always Count On Me Copyright 2003 by Haggridd; Neville's Song Copyright 2003 by Iggy McSnurd; It Ain't Me, Tom Copyright 2004 by Eustace Scrubb; If I Only Had the Scar Copyright 2004 by RJ Lupin; Just a Failure Copyright 2004 by Murasaki; Wishing That You Could Remember Me Copyright 2006 by Embledore; Living with Frank and Alice Copyright 2006 by Hickengruendler; Body-Bind Curses Copyright 2006 by Alessandra C.
A filk by Haggridd to the tune of You Can Always Count On Me from the Larry Gelbart musical City Of Angels.
NEVILLE laments his ineptitude as a wizard.
NEVILLE:
I come from a long line of Purebloods,
A scion of magical culture.
I had to be raised by my grandma,
Whose hat bore a stuffed vulture.
I got into Hogwarts,
You know, by the skin of my teeth.
I'm a wizard outside but I'm
Nearly a Squib underneath.
If you need a spell
To go all to hell
In a flash of light.
You can always count on me.
My potions all smell,
Snape wants to expel
Me. He could be right.
Who am I to disagree?
He said my Shrinking Solution
Should be orange, not green.
I guess that's what you get when you
Use an extra rat spleen.
I want to excel,
But cauldrons just melt on me out of spite
Dungeons fill with the debris.
You can always count on me.
A matter of fact.
My wizarding skills have been things of mirth.
You can always count on me.
Those powers I lacked;
I've been quite non-magical from my birth.
Black sheep of the family.
They dropped me from the window, and
I bounced into the road.
Great-Uncle Algie was so shocked
That he bought me a toad.
So Trevor's now mine;
A froggie is all they thought I was worth.
You can always count on me.
The passwords I lose;
I just have no memory, I assume.
You can always count on me.
There's many a snooze
I had to take outside the Common Room.
Shut out by the Fat Lady.
I made this little list, you see
Just so I could keep track.
So how was I supposed to know
It let in Sirius Black?
McGonagall won't
Say even one word, all she does is fume.
You can always count on me.
I'm bullied by Draco, who makes my blood boil.
He picks on me along with his two henchmen,
Crabbe and Goyle.
Though Harry says that I'm worth twelve of him,
Yet, things have gone from bad to worse,
On me he cast "Leg-Locker" Curse.
Well, flying is out,
Yes, Madam Hooch found me out double-quick.
You can always count on me.
Though "up" I did shout,
I never quite managed to do that trick.
It was quite a sight to see.
I held my right hand over
It, I guess I must have missed.
I woke up dazed and bruised to find
That I fractured my wrist.
So there is no doubt,
I never could hold onto my broomstick.
Remembrall stuck up in a tree.
You can always count on--
Bet a large amount on--
You can always count on me!
A filk by Gail to the tune Longfellow Serenade by Neil Diamond
Longbottom serenade
Fickle the hands of fate
Frank was an auror, straight as an arrow
He had a wife so fair
And she gave birth to a baby boy
He was their pride and joy
His name was Neville
Good ol' Neville
Try, come on Neville, try
Don't let Snape bully you
I sing this song
Just to encourage you
I know you have what
It takes inside of you
The courage that you've got
Will soon break through
You have good friends nearby
So don't be afraid
As I sing for you my
Longbottom serenade
Longbottom serenade
Fickle the hands of fate
Death Eaters came with evil intentions
Tortured Frank and his wife for info
If Neville overheard we may never know
Time will only show
But they were Crucio'd
Now they're at Mungo's
Try, come on Neville try
Don't let Snape bully you
I sing this song
Just to encourage you
I know you have what
It takes inside of you
The courage that you've got
Will soon break through
You have good friends nearby
So don't be afraid
As I sing for you my
Longbottom serenade
To the tune of He's a Rebel by the Crystals
Based on an anecdote from PS/SS, Chap. 7
THE SCENE: The Longbottom Estate. The LONGBOTTOM family reacts with joy to GREAT-UNCLE ALGIE's discovery of Neville's hitherto hidden magical abilities.
UNCLE ALGIE
See the way he bounced down the road
Now I can go buy him a toad
For he has come out ahead
A wizard he, instead
Of Special Ed
GRAN LONGBOTTOM
You once pushed him off of a pier
Not a trace of magic appeared
LONGBOTTOM FAMILY
Wizard powers, he had none
Could not do things we've always done
And because of that we'd say:
ALL
"That's just Neville and he'll never ever be any good
That's just Neville and he'll never ever be Ollie Wood"
UNCLE ALGIE
But just because he cannot do what everybody else does
That's no reason why I can't give him a good shove
Though he isn't a bright boy, now he fills his Gran with joy
ALGIE & GRAN
Don't give up Neville, no no no
Don't give up Neville, no no no, no way
During the instrumental bridge, an owl flies in bearing Neville's letter of acceptance to Hogwarts
GRAN
Neville's really on a roll, this letter says that he's enrolled
We'll be going right to King's Cross, it's foretold
LONGBOTTOM FAMILY
He's our Neville and he'll maybe even be pretty fair
He's our Neville even if his little head's filled with air
And maybe he'll with Trevor learn what everybody recalls
Just in case we'll send him a Rememberall
He will study earnestly, maybe even earn an E
Don't give up Neville, no no no
Don't give up Neville, no no no, no way
(ALGIE & GRAN) & LONGBOTTOM FAMILY
(Don't give up Neville), no no no
(Don't give up Neville), no no no
(Don't give up Neville), no no no
(Don't give up Neville), no no no…..
A filk by Ginger to the tune of Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
Young Neville Longbottom, preparing for his first year at Hogwarts, peruses his new texts. Although most are confusing or intimidating, he finds "1000 Magical Herbs and Fungi" to be a great read. Elated by his newfound knowledge, he sings:
NEVILLE:
I used to think I was just hopeless, and books were a bore,
But now I have found this great textbook by Phyllida Spore.
Now every time I go in the garden, I dig in the ground,
'Cause I can't believe all the plants that are lurking around.
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
And how 'bout those herbs!
They're allright now, hey how 'bout those herbs!
I used to think mushrooms were toadstools, now I know that's not
true,
And I used to think hellebore was an Icelandic fondue.
Now I know asphodel isn't that which makes hem'roids go 'way,
And I'll never fear shrivelfigs, spiting what Gran has to say.
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
And how 'bout those herbs!
They're allright now, hey how 'bout those herbs!
Oh, yeah, hey, how 'bout those herbs!
It's all about fungi.
It's all about fungi.
They are alive, they are my love, I'm in an an herbal atmosphere.
They are alive, they are my love, I'm in an an herbal atmosphere.
I got fungi, baby, oh, oh, yeah, I got fungi, baby, oh!
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
It's all about fungi (whoa-oh)
And how 'bout those herbs! hey, all right now,
And how 'bout those herbs! I say it, say it, say it again, now
And how 'bout those herbs! hey, yeah, now
fade to end
A filk by GiNnY based on the song Memory from Lloyd Webber's Musical Cats
SETTING: A sad and rejected Neville Longbottom ascends the steps of the Astronomy Tower to find time to be alone, and to reminisce about that....
NEVILLE:
One night,
Not a sound throughout Hogwarts
We were all soundly sleeping,
And then Ron gave a scream.
He saw Sirius,
We didn't know just how he got in...
But Ron was sure 'twasn't a dream...
Memory
Blame it all on my memory
I wrote down the week's passwords,
And promptly lost the list
Sir Cadogan let Sirius in, now Professor McG's
Fervently wishing
I'll cease to exist....
Every day I seem to lose
My poor old pet toad, Trevor...
It takes me hours to find him, might be
Easier to find a bezoar!
Grandma
She gave me a Remembrall
It's the size of a marble
What it does is turn red
And that tells me
That I've forgotten something, I dread...
But what it is... escaped my head...
Oh I know that they all think
I don't have magic in me
But soon I'll learn it
And soon I'll get it
If they'll just let me be me....
Memory
I will work on my memory
And soon I will earn house points
I'll make Gryffindor proud
I'll learn my lessons
I'll make the grade, and by end of term
they'll root for me... and cheer out loud....
A filk by Gail to the tune of Self Esteem by the Offspring
NEVILLE:
I just melted my third cauldron today
Know what's coming, wish I could run away
Snape came over
He went bezerk
Two weeks detention, that nasty jerk
Doesn't want to hear an excuse
That Professor really likes to abuse
Shouldn't let him do this to me
But I do 'cause I've got low self-esteem
Potions class is always a fright
I try and try but it's still not quite right
With Snape yelling, it doesn't help
One day I'm gonna stick up for myself
When he's saying all those bad things to me
It's no wonder that I'm such a big mess
When he's screaming and causing a scene
Then how can I work under all of this stress?
Well one day I should say how I feel
But then I start to loose all my nerve
The more he bullies
The more it seems I mess things up....Right!
Now there's something I want to mention
Last time Snape gave me a detention
Was a really cruel episode
Had to disembowel a whole barrel of toads
When I know that Snape is around
I feel close to a nervous breakdown
I should talk back when he's acting so mean
But I'm just a screw-up with low self-esteem
When he's saying all those bad things to me
It's no wonder that I'm such a big mess
When he's screaming and causing a scene
Then how can I work under all of this stress?
Well one day I should say how I feel
But then I start to loose all my nerve
The more he bullies
The more it seems I mess things up...
A filk by Murasaki to the tune of Everytime by Brittany Spears
NEVILLE:
I try my best
In every class,
But Snape hates me,
And I barely pass.
I'm not so brave;
Sometimes I feel like a Squib.
Everytime I try to fly, I fall;
Then Malfoy steals my Remembrall.
I guess I'm just a failure.
And everytime Harry plays the hero,
I try my best, too, but fail though.
I guess I'm just a failure.
My parents were
Great heros too.
But when I fight alone,
I only lose.
How can this be?
The Prophecy could be of me.
And everytime I try to fly, I fall;
Then Malfoy steals my Remembrall.
I guess I'm just a failure.
And everytime Harry plays the hero,
I try my best, too, but fail though.
I guess I'm just a failure.
I may seem Hufflepuff,
But the Hat saw honor in me.
One day I'll have enough
Of Harry outdoing me . . .
Ohhh . . .
Someday my Gran
Will say she's as proud of me
As Dad.
And everytime I try to fly, I fall;
Then Malfoy steals my Remembrall.
I guess I'm just a failure.
And everytime Harry plays the hero,
I try my best, too, but fail though.
I guess I'm just a failure.
A filk by Gail to the tune of Act Naturally by Buck Owens, and later by the Beatles
NEVILLE:
I'm taking classes here at Hogwarts
But I'm finding out that it's not that easy
Keep messing up even the simplest charms
All I ever do is act clumsily
Well one day I'm gonna be a wizard
As good as Merlin, you can never tell
Everybody's going to be astonished
As soon as I learn how to cast spells
Well I hope that one day I'll become a wizard
And not a disgrace to my family
My grandmother keeps putting on the pressure
'Cause all I ever do is act clumsily
In Potions Class I keep melting all the cauldrons
I'm really only good at Herbology
Professor Flitwick's feeling quite frustrated
'Cause all I ever do is act clumsily
Well I've never been really good at magic
Almost a squib, that is what I am
My memory's bad, what's that incantation?
I'm surprised I even pass my exams
Well some say that I have a lot of potential
And soon I'll show my true ability
The greatest student that ever came to Hogwarts
But until that time I guess I'll act clumsily
A filk by Alessandra C. to the tune of Frozen by Madonna
NEVILLE:
You can see, well, it's pretty plain to see
What hell can be, it's how my life can be
You're frozen
When the curse struck you
You cannot move when a Body-Bind's on you
When you're in need none cares to help you
You're broken
Just a new wound open
Mmmmmm, I'm just too weak, I guess
Mmmmmm, my life's a mess
Mmmmmm, Malfoy picks on me
Mmmmmm, yes, he binds me
Everyone tells me that mine is the blame
He locks my legs, I suffer the same
If I fall down
My nose will be broken
I still recall I failed to fly
He threw a curse passing me by
I was stuck
God, my life does suck
Mmmmmm, I'm just too weak, I guess
Mmmmmm, my life's a mess
Mmmmmm, Malfoy picks on me
Mmmmmm, yes, he binds me
I'm just too weak, I guess.
To the tune of You'll Never Walk Alone from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Carousel
THE SCENE: Before Gryffindor. The FAT LADY sings of a lad with whom she spends a lot of time.
FAT LADY
When he walks toward his dorm
That poor Neville guy
Who barely remembers his name
This dumb schlep's memory, it goes so awry,
That I can't let him pass through my frame
Locked out from his room
Blocked out from his turf
As he waits with leering trolls
Password, password, he tries to think hard
But he never recalls one!
He'll never recall one!
To the tune of Manos Hadjidakis' theme for the 1960 film Never on Sunday
CHORUS OF GRYFFINDOR STUDENTS
Neville will often mess up, we'll 'fess up, he'll stress up
When he's in Potions class
It seems that every lesson's distressin', we're guessin'
'Cause Snape loves to harass
When we've a brand new password if that nerd has not heard
What it is to be
He stands outside our doorway in dismay like some stray
Till we give him the key.
But, no, a squib Neville clearly is not
Although Slytherin gangs beat him up a lot
He can get himself tied in awkward knots
But his courage too cannot be forgot
It seems on some days Trever endeavors to sever
With Neville every tie
Neville then is hunting and grunting till confronting
His amphibious ally
Neville's forever striving, reviving, surviving,
Doing his very best
Neville now has dumb days and glum days and bum days
He may seem to regress
But Neville will on one day, on some day - a soon day?
Meet with great success
A filk by Ginger to the tune of One Tin Soldier by Coven
Listen children to a story
That was told so long ago
'Bout and Auror called Longbottom
And the family he loved so.
Four Death Eaters thought he knew the
Whereabouts of You-Know-Who
So they went and tried to force it
With an evil spell or two.
Go ahead and curse your neighbour
Go and Crucio a friend.
Do it in the name of Voldy
And he will honour you in the end.
There won't be any Aurors calling
After that dark day,
And the tearful morning after...
Only Neville flies away.
So the DE's cursed the Auror,
Turned their wands on his poor wife,
Left them in their incoherence.
Took the mind, but spared the life.
With no hope of cure or potion,
Life at Mungo's they began.
And they left poor little Neville
In the care of his strong Gran.
Now the wizards cried with anger
Mount your broomsticks! Draw your wands!
So they captured the Death Eaters
Sent them off to Azkaban.
Little Neville, off at Hogwarts,
Raised his hand, though full of dread.
Asked about the evil curses -
"Crucio" was all he said.
Go ahead and curse your neighbour
Go and Crucio a friend.
Do it in the name of Voldy
Azkaban will be your end.
Longbottoms are in St. Mungo's.
Dementors use you for their play.
And the tearful morning after...
Only Neville flies away.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The flying part is an assumption that Gran came and got him on her broomstick-it fit the meter.
A filk by WeasleyTwin1 to the tune of With One Look from Lloyd Webber's Sunset Boulevard
THE SCENE: NEVILLE, as he is walking back to Gryffindor Tower after his talk with Mad-Eye Moody.
NEVILLE
Their lost look, how it breaks my heart
Their lost look, our lives torn apart
Still at night I hear it ring
Haunted looks unknown
I'm their son unknown
One act vile, why'd it happen for?
'Twas our love, shattered by that war
How I would give up my soul
To have back;
Back my home
I just can't tell
What on that night befell
Death Eaters all 'round;
Parents on the ground
It haunts my nights;
I wake in such a fright
My pasts' darkest day,
I can't send away
Those Dark looks,
'Tis them that I blame
For their lost look,
Which causes me pain
Past events nightly replayed
To look in their eyes
Causes me to cry
Their lost look, to rewrite the past
To have my parents back at last
Who were taken by those Dark
Those who bear
Bear his Mark!
Eyes closed, I am far away
Then I'll look.
I'll know all I'll need to know
Then they'll look, utter that lost phrase
They'll return, as will brighter days
Then I'll have them back at last.
This time they're staying;
We're staying for good
They'll be back
This is how it shall be
Then they'll look
And know
Me!
A filk by Embledore to the tune of Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera
This takes place during Order of the Phoenix, after the prisoners have escaped from Azkaban, and Neville has decided that he will one day face the Lestranges for what they have done to his parents. He is visiting his parents in St. Mungo's sometime before the battle in the Ministry that takes place at the end of the book.
NEVILLE:
You were once the greatest Aurors.
You were celebrated.
Then those four tormentors came,
And here's what they've created.
Wishing that you could remember me...
Wishing you could look with pride...
The child you had known,
See how I've grown.
I'm not the same inside.
Wishing you could see how much I've changed...
Stronger than I thought I'd be...
Nobody knew
What I could do.
No one, not even me.
Passing many mental cases,
Cold and meaningless stares.
I know you
Will not remember.
I hope you know I care.
Too many years
Hiding from fears.
It's time to face
Them all!
Wishing that you could remember me...
Knowing that you saved your son...
Thinking of you
Helps me to do
All things that must be done.
No more hiding
Behind my troubled past!
Now it's high time for me
To grow up fast.
Help me be
The best.
A filk by Hickengruendler to the tune of Livin' Next Door to Alice by Smokie
The scene: Augusta Longbottom tells her friend Griselda Marchbanks, how she feels about to Frank and Alice.
AUGUSTA:
Mad-Eye came, and he didn't look glad,
He said: "I'm terribly sad 'bout Frank and Alice."
I didn't want to listen, 'cause then Voldemort was gone.
And I just pleaded: "Please no, not my son."
But then Mad-Eye began to tell me about Bella.
I don't know why it happened and why they had to go.
I don't know Bella's reasons and I do not want to know,
But fourteen years ago now, life suddenly stopped for Frank and Alice.
Fourteen years now, just waitin' for a glance,
To tell us they are better, that they might still have a chance.
Guess I've gotta get used to not living with Frank and Alice.
Both of them were Aurors, fighers for the light,
And always loyal to Albus's side, Frank and Alice.
Now they live on the ward not knowing who is there,
The Lestranges have done this and Barty's heir
And the curtain is pulled slowly in front of their beds.
I don't know why it happened and why they had to go.
I don't know Bella's reasons and I do not want to know,
But fourteen years ago now, life suddenly stopped for Frank and Alice.
Fourteen years now, just waitin' for a glance,
To tell us they are better, that they might still have a chance.
Guess I've gotta get used to not living with Frank and Alice.
Then Neville moved in, he not yet understood,
I said: "I know you miss your dad and Alice"
I said: "Both of them are gone, and we're left behind".
And secretly I know I wasn't often very kind.
But I wish he were more like him.
I don't know why it happened and why they had to go.
I don't know Bella's reasons and I do not want to know,
But fourteen years ago now, life suddenly stopped for Frank and Alice.
Fourteen years now, just waitin' for a glance,
To tell us they are better, that they might still have a chance.
Guess I've gotta get used to not living with Frank and Alice.
But I'll never get used to not living with Frank and Alice.
A filk by Eustace Scrubb to the tune of It Ain't Me Babe by Bob Dylan
YOUNG NEVILLE (well known for his precocious
vocal abilities as an infant)
Go 'way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, Tom,
I'm not the one you need.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Born as the 7th month did die,
Who could whip you an' defeat you
If he lives and grows up strong,
Someone whose power chills you to the core,
But it ain't me, Tom,
No, no, no, it ain't me, Tom,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, Tom.
Go lightly from the ledge, Tom,
Go lightly on the ground.
I'm not the one you want, Tom,
He's in another town.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who can vanquish Voldemort,
Whose parents thrice defied you,
Which it's true my folks have done,
Someone who must die so you can live,
But it ain't me, Tom,
No, no, no, it ain't me, Tom,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, Tom.
Go melt back in the night, Tom,
Everything inside is made of stone.
There's nothing in here moving
An' anyway I'm not alone.
You don't know and I won't tell you
He you choose will gain great power,
Neither of the two can live long
While the other does survive,
But I'm just a wizard child an' nothing more,
So it ain't me, Tom,
No, no, no, it ain't me, Tom,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, Tom.
A filk by R.J. Lupin based on If I Only had A Brain from The Wizard of Oz
SCENE: Neville briefly wonders what it would be like if he were famous like Harry.
NEVILLE:
I would be the best guy at school
And I would be the most cool
Because I'd be a star
To my friends I'd be talking
While I ignored Voldie's stalking
If I only had the scar
I would go on some adventures
That'd knock out my gran's dentures
Out of her mouth so far
The victories that I would win
Would cause me to have a big grin
If I only had the scar
Oh I, would be the guy
With glory to my name
The Longbottom group would earn a bit of fame
It'd make up for, my lack of brain
I'd be the one students admired
And they would feel inspired
Because they knew a star
And they'd ask me for advice
And it truly would be so nice...
If I only had the scar
A filk by Iggy McSnurd to the tune of The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel
NEVILLE:
I am just a student
At Hogwarts, yes it's true;
I am learning my defenses
For a war that's coming due,
Such are prophecies;
OWLs and the rest
Still we practice with the DA
And hope we pass the tests.
When I left my home and my family,
I was no more than a boy
in the company of strangers
in the quiet of the railway station,
Young and scared.
Ducking low
Lugging my trunk without a porter
Wondering where my stuff would go
Looking in the rooms, for people I might know.
Lie la lie
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie,
Lie la lie.
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie,
La la la la lie.
Wielding only wits and a wand
I try perfecting my spells
But I need more practice
Bless the cushions that coat the floor
In the Room of Requirement.
I do declare
There were times when I was so banged up
I was brused even under my hair.
Now the spells are flying by me,
Students shouting earnestly.
I am better than I once was
But worse off than I'll be
That's not unusual.
It feels a bit strange
I am growing, ever growing
I don't feel so much shame
I have more confidence, and a lot less shame.
Lie la lie.
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie,
Lie la lie.
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie,
La la la la lie.
Now I'm practicing my disarming jinx
And wishing I could aim
Expelliarmus
There goes Ron, but I was aiming
At Lee Jordan,
Drat my aim.
Teaching us is Harry Potter
He's fought hard to reach this age
And he carries the memories
Of every threat You Know Who
Has made to end his life
In his hatred and with pain.
"He is plotting, he is plotting."
And yet Harry still remains.
Lie la lie.
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie,
Lie la lie.
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie,
La la la la lie.
Lie la lie lie, lie la lie
A filk by Ginger to the tune of It's Now or Never by Elvis Presley
Neville, as a first year, has alighted from the Hogwarts Express and is waiting to embark on the journey across the lake. Unable to find his toad, he sings:
NEVILLE: (CHORUS)
Where now is Trevor?
I held him tight.
But with a wiggle,
He took to flight.
My Uncle will be irate.
Where now is Trevor?
This boat won't wait.
When I first got him,
Just a tad so tender
I was protector;
His sole defender.
But day or night time
Is his take-to-flight-time.
Wish he was here,
Would disappear no more.
CHORUS
We cross this minute
A lake like an ocean,
But I lost Trevor
And made commotion.
Oh, I just must find you
And let me remind you,
Christmas is when
I'll pass again this way.
CHORUS
To the tune of The Long and Winding Road by the Beatles
Trevor the Toad, in his "ribbeting" solo debut!
TREVOR:
I'm Longbottom's pet toad who leaps out the door,
I'm apt to disappear
When in the mood to tour, or hopping far and near,
New roads I explore
My weak and wimpy friend I will not obey,
He's full of doubt and fear ev'ry time I stray
Watch Neville searching here, bet he'll look all day.
Many times I've been lost and ev'ry time I'm found
Anyway I'll never go unless I can rebound, but
Still I'll always say that, "I'm Longbottom's toad,
Who kept me close at hand, though toads were too uncool.
I'm his amphibian, now and evermore."