* = Post-OOP

Whomping Willow Copyright 2001 by Judy Nathanson; That Willow Copyright 2001 by Caius Marcius; Willow Tree Copyright 2003 by Ginger

The Weasley's Anglia got caught as it flew
Whomping Willow, Oh Willow, Oh Willow
Trapped inside that car Ron and poor Harry too
Whomping Willow, Oh Willow, Oh Willow
Then the car started up & backed out of that tree
Thus finally setting the two students free
And all of their classmates sang out with glee
"You flew to the great Whomping Willow!"

This tree has a knot you can press if you dare
Whomping Willow, Oh Willow, Oh Willow
And plunge to the home of the werewolf down there
Whomping Willow, Oh Willow, Oh Willow
'Twas there that three friends nearly met with their doom
When before branches made twigs of what WAS Harry's broom
So when you're out walking through fog, night and gloom
Beware of the great Whomping Willow!

To the tune of Tit-Willow from Gilbert & Sullivan's The Mikado

THE SCENE: The grounds of Hogwarts, before the WHOMPING WILLOW. HARRY, with NEVILLE as backup, describes his least-favorite member of the botanical kingdom

HARRY & (NEVILLE)
When young Lupin came to this school they planted it
That willow (what willow?) that willow
And to protect his secret they enchanted it
Whomping Willow (this willow?) that willow
But once Remus had earned his NEWTS, there was no need
To continue to nurture that overgrown weed
Why must Hogwarts adhere to the tree-hugger's creed
Toward willow (whose willow?) that willow

When I flew in with Ron on a flubberized Ford
Whomping Willow (which willow?) that willow
That tree tried to annihilate each boy on board
This willow (those willows?) that willow
When we flew against Hufflepuff in a big game
And a swarm of dementors unwelcoming came
Then my poor Nimbus two thousand toothpicks became
Thanks to willow (these willows?) that willow

Not since Charlie Brown battled his kite-eating tree
Oh, willow (some willow?) that willow
Has 'tween flora and fauna been such emnity
That willow (your willow?) that willow
Mister Black my godfather forever I'll thank
If he transforms into a hound shaggy and lank
And trots up to that tree to raise up a hind flank
On that willow (that willow!) that willow

A filk by Ginger To the tune of Lemon Tree by (among others) Peter, Paul, and Mary.

I was having some Very Deep Thoughts the other night, and it occured to me that life is like the Whomping Willow Tree. The key to solving problems it to go to the root of them and know which buttons to push.

So I'm not Plato.

Anyway, singing my Very Deep Thought is Prof. REMUS LUPIN, in the Shrieking Shack scene.

LUPIN:
When I was just a lad of ten
A letter came to me
Inviting me to Hogwarts
In spite of lycanthropy.

"In this old Shack we'll hide you, son"
Headmaster said to me.
"And soon you'll find that life is like
The Whomping Willow Tree."

Willow Tree, stands serenely-
What a vision of deceit.
At the root of the old willow
Hides the key to not be beat.

(Repeat)

So here, beyond the Willow Tree,
My friends and I did lie.
So arrogant about our powers
As rogue Animagi.

We spent semesters lost in fun
Beyond the Willow Tree.
The music of our laughter
Hid the danger that could be.

Willow Tree, stands serenely-
What a vision of deceit.
At the root of the old willow
Hides the key to not be beat.

(Repeat)

But we grew up and told no one
The mischief we had done.
Soon Stag was dead, Dog was in pound
And Rat was on the run.

So, Sirius, my brother,
Here's you're chance to get your due.
We give the Rat to Dumbledore,
Whose words were, oh, so true:

Willow Tree, stands serenely-
What a vision of deceit.
At the root of the old willow
Hides the key to not be beat.

(Repeat)