Copyright 2007 by Murasaki
To the tune of No One Mourns the Wicked
1979, in the LIMBO between life and death-- the place that Nearly Headless Nick spoke of to Harry of in HBP and Harry mistook as King's Cross in DH-- Regulus Black arrives to make his choice between becoming a ghost, joining the rest of his family as a portrait in Grimmauld Place, or passing on to the great mystery of death.
DEPARTED FAMILY (as ghosts, some of which are also present as
portraits in Grimmauld Place):
Please choose!
You're dead!
Choose which way to go in death!
You could be a ghost, free to roam,
Or join with us as portraits back at home-
Or death!
Please choose!
Please choose!
PHINEAS NIGELLUS:
But, why, Regulus?
REGULUS (grinning around at his family, rather awkwardly, starting
to explain the predicament):
My fellow relatives.
You must be sad.
You must be addled.
You must be wondering why your favorite son has proved
Victim to workings of You-Know-Who-
Isn't it nice to know
That I want to be here;
I don't regret my career.
I don't mind.
He's not maligned.
I changed my--
PHINEAS NIGELLUS (interrupting him):
No one mourns a traitor!
ELLADORA:
No one joys they join us here!
DEPARTED FAMILY (referring to their state as portraits):
No one bids
them join them in their hall.
PHINEAS NIGELLUS:
So if you're not a traitor-
BELVINA/CASSOPEIA:
We want you in, you little dear!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Join with us, or join no one at all . . .
REGULUS:
For purebloods know a traitor shall be lonely.
Purebloods know they're burned right off the tree.
(Quietly, to himself) And I find that a traitor is the only
One who's free . . .
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Yes, purebloods know a traitor shall be lonely.
Purebloods know they're burned right off the tree.
We divine that's a traitor's surely only
Guarantee.
REGULUS (spoken, starting the roundabout way to try to persuade all of this): Do people become traitors? Or are they born into situations they grow to naturally betray? After all, think of my brother. We shared a father. We shared a mother, as so many brothers do . . .
Flashback: Sirius, Walburga, and Orion-who have stepped out of their portraits-re-enact watching Sirius board the train for Hogwarts the first time.
ORION:
Now you know what we expect from you, son.
WALBURGA:
Yet we're sure that you'll do stunningly!
ORION:
But know that there's types we won't have in our family . . .
REGULUS:
But, he was from our family, and he was "that type" . . .
Walburga and Orion have left the scene, leaving Sirius sitting upon a three-legged stool, with a floppy hat-the Sorting Hat-atop his head.
THE SORTING HAT:
Let me have look, here-the eldest Black son?
Let me have a look into your core.
I see you're courageous, strong and loyal,
A regular brave young boy-o-
I can see you're simply nothing like others;
You're full Gryffindor!
REGULUS:
And, from then on, he was, well, different . . .
The flashback continues to Walburga, Orion, and Regulus waiting for Sirius at the platform for his first visit home.
WALBURGA:
He's coming!
ORION:
Now?
WALBURGA:
Our son is coming!
ORION:
And how!
WALBURGA:
See his Black hair.
ORION:
See his Black chin.
ORION/WALBURGA:
Our son of course was Sorted Slyther-
Their excitement turns to horror as Sirius breaks through the crowd to reveal a Gryffindor scarf and a Gryffindor crest on his coat.
ORION:
Merlin!
REGULUS:
What is it? What's wrong?
WALBURGA:
What's in his mind?
ORION:
What's in his core?
WALBURGA:
It's unheard of!
ORION:
Not before!
ORION/WALBURGA:
That bloody little traitor boy,
Our oldest son was Sorted Gryffindor!
Sirius approaches them and is immediately subdued by their frigid response.
ORION:
Out of my sight. Get out of my sight.
Looking quite hurt, Sirius backs away. Regulus casts him a sympathetic look, which Sirius does not see.
REGULUS:
So, you see, it's not like he had a choice!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
No one mourns a traitor!
You won't see him join us, here!
You won't see him join us, in our hall!
For purebloods know you know what bloodline line is-
Purebloods know they're burned right off the tree.
REGULUS:
Right off the tree!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Woe to those-
PHINEAS NIGELLUS:
Woe to those!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Whose bloodlines and their codes, they depose!
No one mourns a traitor!
REGULUS (covering his ears, unable to take it):
Can't choose!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
No one mourns a traitor!
REGULUS:
Can't choose!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
No one mourns a traitor!
Traitor!
Traitor!
Grimmauld Place
To the tune of Dear Old Shiz
Still 1979, LIMBO. Regulus approaches where the rest of his (respectable) family is waiting for him. Yet a few questions stand remaining in the way.
PHINEAS NIGELLUS:
REGULUS (defensively):
The lights change as the scene becomes a flashback: LIMBO is changed to 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE. Bellatrix, Narcissa, Sirius, and
Andromeda enter. Sirius is clearly reluctant.
ANDROMEDA/BELLATRIX/NARCISSA, and DEPARTED FAMILY (the latter showing up on the walls as portraits):
SIRIUS (muttering):
ANDROMEDA/BELLATRIX/NARCISSA, and DEPARTED FAMILY:
SIRIUS:
ANDROMEDA/BELLATRIX/NARCISSA/DEPARTED FAMILY:
BELLATRIX (drawing it out):
ANDROMEDA/BELLATRIX/NARCISSA/DEPARTED FAMILY:
the "s" of "place" turns into a snake-like hissing
The rest of the story continues on as flashback.
We Must Be Related
To the tune of What is This Feeling?
1972, HOGWARTS SCHOOL: At the beginning of Sirius's second and Regulus's first year at Hogwarts, the brothers sit in their
respective common rooms, writing home.
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
REGULUS/SIRIUS (sarcastically):
SIRIUS:
REGULUS:
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Yes; I'd like to keep you noted for you see my brother is . .
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
The two brothers stand up simultaneously, exit their rooms, and
crash into each other in the hallway.
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
REGULUS:
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
REGULUS/SIRUS:
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
REGULUS:
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
The Slytherins appear in the hallway.
BELLATRIX/NARCISSA:
REGULUS (obnoxiously to Sirius, rubbing it in his face):
BELLATRIX/NARCISSA/SLYTHERINS:
The Gryffindors appear in the hallway.
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
SIRIUS (sneaking up behind Regulus):
REGULUS (jumping):
I'm Not That Son
To the tune of I'm Not That Girl
CHRISTMAS 1972, 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE: During the first holiday both brothers return home from school, Sirius watches from a distance as
Regulus, Walburga and Orion pantomime a loving family over their more Slytherin son-- and realizes the price one pays for having different views.
SIRIUS:
Every so often I long to be
Step back; look hard:
Flying Through Life
To the tune of Dancing Through Life
SPRING 1973, HOGWARTS SCHOOL: By the lake, James takes Sirius for a ride on his broomstick to console him about his family's bitterness
towards him.
JAMES:
Slowly, he lets the broomstick begin to rise.
Flying through life,
Flying through life,
Flying through life,
Flying through life,
(Turning to Sirius) So, what's the worst thing they could do to you, anyway?
SIRIUS (still quite horrified at the thought):
JAMES:
SIRIUS:
JAMES:
JAMES/SIRIUS:
They land, and Peter approaches them. They try to hide their irritation.
PETER:
SIRIUS (dripping with sarcasm):
PETER:
He dashes off happily as Sirius smirks.
JAMES:
SIRIUS:
JAMES (grinning):
JAMES:
JAMES/SIRIUS:
Peter spills out his happiness to Remus.
PETER:
Remus, don't you think it's great to have accepting friends?
REMUS:
Suspecting foul play, he goes up to James and Sirius, of whom at
this point he is still mildly skeptical-- as he is everyone who does
not know of his condition.
Listen, Peter and I were just talking--
JAMES:
Grinning cleverly and winking as he hints he's figured out his
secret, he points out the moon to Remus.
It's really, uh, bright, don't you see?
As Remus gets over the shock of their discovery-- and acceptance of
it-- just beyond, Severus and Lily share a moment of concern over
their friendship.
SEVERUS:
LILY:
SEVERUS:
LILY:
SEVERUS:
LILY:
I'm just not a Slytherin;
Can't you see that's true?
SEVERUS:
LILY:
SEVERUS:
LILY:
SEVERUS:
JAMES/SIRIUS/REMUS/PETER:
As Long As We're Friends
To the tune of As Long As You're Mine
1975, HOGWARTS SCHOOL: Sirius, James and Peter, their Animagus transformations complete, sneak out of the school with Remus.
SIRIUS:
REMUS:
JAMES/REMUS/SIRIUS/PETER:
JAMES:
JAMES/REMUS/SIRIUS/PETER:
Remus howls in harmony.
We know we won't part
The happy quartet collapses at daybreak. Sirius sighs.
JAMES:
SIRIUS:
Defining Loyalties
To the tune of Defying Gravity
SUMMER 1976, 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE: After the most recent fight with his parents, Sirius storms upstairs and begins throwing things into a trunk, following by a just-as-seething Regulus.
REGULUS:
Sirius stops packing and rounds on Regulus.
SIRIUS:
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Regulus tries another tactic, realizing how serious his brother
really is.
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
Too late to try to change me;
Sirius begins rushing around packing again in fury.
REGULUS:
SIRIUS:
Too long I've tried too hard to
He stops for a moment, his suitcase packed, staring at his
innocent-and so ignorant-little brother.
SIRIUS:
Disloyalty.
REGULUS (defensively):
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
SIRIUS (sighing):
Regulus chucks him a broomstick to escape with.
REGULUS:
SIRIUS (sarcastically):
You've really got it made.
REGULUS/SIRIUS (both dripping with sarcasm):
Sirius dashes up on the window ledge, preparing to mount his broom.
SIRIUS:
Tell them how I am defining loyalties,
There is a scrambling up the stairs and towards the door behind Regulus, who calls out.
REGULUS:
Orion and Walburga come dashing into the room to see Sirius take
off.
ORION/WALBURGA:
Walburga dashes for the tapestry, and Orion aims a shot out of his
wand out the window, and Sirius (and his voice) falters.
ORION/WALBURGA:
Death Eaters
To the tune of Popular
1977: Bellatrix recruits Regulus and Severus to the Death Eaters.
BELLATRIX:
REGULUS (understandably a little scared of her):
BELLATRIX (grinning, thinking about her word choice):
Whenever I see someone less fanatical than I
(To Regulus) And even with you, dear-
Death Eaters!
Death Eaters!
Work on strengthening up your abdomen;
La la . . . la la . . .
(To Severus) When I see you on the sidelines
SEVERUS:
BELLATRIX:
She puts Death Eater masks on them.
Why, great Merlin . . . look at you . . . they suit you!
REGULUS/SEVERUS (looking at one another in agreement):
BELLATRIX (miffed):
Ah! La la . . . la la . . .
Young Master and I
To the tune of The Wizard and I
1979, 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE: Kreacher exults over the opportunity he has been given to help Regulus with his Death Eater duties. And ... since he can speak in the first person when he's in his own head, we'll just say . . .
REGULUS:
He leaves.
KREACHER:
I'll help my Young Master;
When I help Young Master,
The Dark Lord will say to me, "Kreacher,
And as for the elf who just helped him out,
Disloyalty.
And we'll stand there with the Dark Lord
Fine Bloodline
To the tune of Thank Goodness
1979, 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE: The Black family laments its departed
members as the war wages on. Kreacher has returned from his task.
DEPARTED FAMILY (as portraits):
DRUELLA:
CYGNUS:
DEPARTED FAMILY
BELLATRIX:
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Nudging Regulus
Couldn't be worthier, because
KREACHER:
WALBURGA:
ORION:
DRUELLA:
CYNUS:
DEPARTED FAMILY:
REGULUS:
DEPARTED:
BELLATRIX:
REGULUS:
And then this pride, this glow,
DEPARTED FAMILY:
REGULUS:
DEPARTED FAMILY:
DEPARTED FAMILY:
BELLATRIX (hugging him simperingly):
DEPARTED FAMILY:
REGULUS:
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Not That Son (Reprise)
To the tune of I'm Not That Girl (Reprise)
1979, 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE: Regulus reflects on how much he's changed that even his parents don't recognize him.
REGULUS:
No Whole Soul
To the tune of No Good Deed
1980, CAVE BY THE SEA. Regulus returns with Kreacher to destroy the
Horcrux he helped create.
REGULUS (calling the elf to his aid):
He mutters to himself in a half-crazed panic as he begins to down the potion.
Let his souls become whole,
Let his bones start to break,
He continues muttering, and then chokes.
I can feel it all working;
Kreacher, don't stay here--
He considers the damage he helped wreak.
The McKinnons.
His brother's friends: this stings worst of all
The Potters!
And if I felt this way,
He downs the basin of potion, and before long as belong pulled beneath the water by the Inferi as Kreacher watches helplessly . . .
Arrest the Blacks
To the tune of March of the Witch Hunters
1981. Bartemius Crouch, Sr. has gotten his act together after the
death of the Potters and begins rounding up Death Eaters.
AURORS (reading the names of the blacklisted):
LUCIUS MALFOY (at a safe distance, smirking to himself):
AURORS:
BARTEMIUS CROUCH:
AURORS:
SEVERUS:
Because of them I joined their side,
Treachery must be punished!
Serving Time
To the tune of One Short Day
1981, WIZENGAMOT COURTROOM: Sirius stands trial for the murder of 12 Muggles and Peter Pettigrew.
BARTEMIUS CROUCH:
The scene changes to Azkaban Prison, full of imprisoned Death Eaters.
INMATES:
SIRIUS
BELLATRIX:
SIRIUS:
BELLATRIX:
SIRIUS:
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS:
BELLATRIX:
SIRIUS:
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS:
SIRIUS:
BELLATRIX:
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS:
INMATES:
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS:
INMATES:
BELLATRIX (finally noticing him):
INMATES:
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS (in counterpoint):
INMATES (in counterpoint):
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS/INMATES:
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS:
SIRIUS (thinking of Peter):
BELLATRIX (thinking of Sirius):
BELLATRIX/SIRIUS/INMATES:
FUDGE (walking in for his routine inspection):
INMATES:
. . . and Sirius asks for a crossword puzzle, and the rest is
history..
Something Good
To the tune of Something Bad
1993, DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS OFFICE. As Severus makes him
his monthly potion, Remus tries to reconcile him in his mind.
REMUS:
SEVERUS (quirking his eyebrows at Remus's utter disbelief that he
could be good):
REMUS:
Remus cannot control the howl as the full moon draws near.
Sorry, good.
SEVERUS:
REMUS:
REMUS/SEVERUS:
SEVERUS:
His Best Friend
To the tune of Wonderful
1994, SHRIEKING SHACK. Reading between the lines of Peter's
explanation to Sirius, Remus, Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
PETER:
So suddenly I'm friends
His best friend;
SIRIUS:
PETER:
He called me his best friend,
His best friend!
Harry stops them. The rest is history.
A Very Loyal Witch
To the tune of A Sentimental Man
1996, DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES. Bellatrix really didn't get time to monologue, but if she had . . .
BELLATRIX:
Bellatrix aims her wand at Sirius, who falls behind the veil to a short, sad melody.
Regulus! Can it be-you respect him?
Well, it depends on what you mean by
"respect." We were brothers-that is, we did share a bloodline. Our
bloodline.
Curtain doxies and tapestries
Which no traitors shall disgrace.
Shall disgrace . . .
When our house elves grow so slow with age
We shall still ensure that they remain
In our home at Grimmauld Place.
Grim old place . . .
Our home at 12 Grimmauld--
Grimmauld . . .
Grimmauld Place . ..
Dearest most honored mother and father . . .
Hey, parents!
I'd like to keep you noted on how
wonderful school is . . .
Of course Regulus is a Slyth'rin.
Of course Sirius is a traitor!
And we know how this affects the family name.
Disgustingly and altogether entirely disrespectful of his
gloried family name.
Dumb.
Why this resemblance between you and me?
We look so alike, yet we act differently.
You share my face and
You share my hair and
You share my voice, so-
We must be related.
Bloodline quite the same,
Sharing a surname:
Black . . .
Brothers.
Obviously we are brothers.
Sharing blood.
Features.
And others.
Let me see-we share it all!
Every little trait however small
Does the other brother so recall.
Seeing how we're brothers,
There's inherent detestation
Yet an obvious relation-
Through blood we're tied!
Though I do admit we share no likes
We just simply act just so alike
And we will be brothers, brothers we
Until we die!
Oh, dear cousin, it's a crying shame
You and the traitor should look so the same!
He knows halfbloods, he knows Mudbloods;
He's a full association unbefitting of a pureblood!
Well, at
least I'm not a failure!
Regulus is forced to regain
The shame his brother brought on his name.
We just want to tell you:
You won't share the blame!
Though you are:
Brothers.
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
What is this resemblance between you and me?
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Obviously you are brothers.
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
We look alike, yet we act differently.
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Sharing face, features, and others.
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
You share my face and
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Let's just say-
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
You share my hair and
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
You share it all!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Oh, we must be related!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Every little trait however small
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Sharing a surname!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Does the other brother so recall!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Yes . . .
REGULUS/SIRIUS/GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Black!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Brothers!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
There's inherent detestation!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Yet an obvious relation!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Through blood we're tied!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
They're tied!
Though I do admit we share no likes
We just simply act just so alike!
And we will be brothers,
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers . . .
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Bound so closely
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers . . .
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Brothers, so completely
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers . . .
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Brothers, we-
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers, gee!
REGULUS/SIRIUS:
Until we die!
GRYFFINDORS/SLYTHERINS:
Brothers, obviously they are brothers . . .
Boo!
Ahh!
Hands pat, eyes light,
Smiles glow, and hugs are tight;
To them, glowing like the sun:
There's a favorite one-
But I'm not that son.
Don't push too far;
Don't be who you truly are.
By the other, you've been outdone.
There's a favorite one;
I'm not that son.
The heir that I might have been,
But then I remember the way I feel
Suppressing myself back again.
Kind words, bright praise,
He prompts from them a sweeter gaze.
The boy that they love a ton;
The great model child,
He drives them wild;
I'm not that son.
What they want isn't what you are.
I fell from grace as their Number One;
They've got a son,
The favorite one:
I'm not that son.
The trouble with families is they always try to make you the wrong person.
Believe me-I've listened just enough to them to know!
They want you to be real special, successful-
But I say why adopt their bias?
Stop taking their advice
And learn to live the self-created life.
Making decisions
Once you're airborne,
You'll feel reborn;
Just 'cause they whine,
There's no need to break sweat!
You don't need permission;
To break off tradition just as I do!
You're fine as you are;
They're fine with you as you are;
We're all fine,
So keep flying through . . .
Concocting your own rules
And always staying true.
Though they're crying,
You'll be flying;
Their envy's a pest,
But don't let it test you!
The dips and the summits;
Don't worry; a plummet's just a way to learn!
They might accept you;
They might reject you--
But you're flying through!
Uhh . . . kick me off the family tree!
Sounds perfect!
Once you're out of your anal family
You'll be more free than than us all!
You can stand up full tall!
Live your life on your terms
As everyone squirms!
Just get out of your anal family!
Come on; stay with me!
We'll be together and free there!
Flying through life!
Flying through life,
Out of my family . . .
Because it's your own life,
What else can you do?
We're fine as we are,
They're fine with us as we are;
We're all fine . . .
JAMES:
So keep flying through!
Uhh, Sirius . . . I hope you'll stop by and see me at least
once next holiday. I'll be right there, waiting, all summer.
Ohhh, that sounds fun. But you know what would be even more fun?
During holidays, Peter, my friend,
I'm confined to my room!
It's so full of gloom;
I feel so depressed,
And quite stressed.
BEST friend of mine, Peter, would you please come,
See what you can do; I'll wait there for you!
Well, maybe I could come visit you!
SIRIUS:
Oh, Peter, really; you would do that for me?
PETER:
I would do anything for my best friends!
So . . . ?
So, he's in for big surprise.
I see.
As soon as we met one another
It was clear we'd preserve each other--
You're brutal!
You're brutal!
So we're brutally loyal;
Each each other's foil--
Flying through life!
Oh, Remus, isn't it wonderful?
Finally at this one place
I have found a friendly, kind face
In the Gryffindors I sleep with every night.
I feel like I belong;
I'll be loyal to this throng!
We're all best friends!
Remus, can't you see?
We'll preserve each other;
The two of them, me, and you--
We'll preserve each other!
Don't you think?
I do . . .
And we were just talking about you. We thought we ought to
come with you sometime when you go away each month.
You know "wolf" is this month's theme!
We'll preserve each other--
We'll come with you! See what I imply?
We'll preserve each other--
Just wait 'til we become full Animagi!
Listen, Lily?
Yes?
Um, Lily?
Maybe this sounds kind of silly,
But what if our Houses split us up in two?
Now, I know you had no say--
Oh, no, I had a choice.
You did?
And with it, I'm okay!
Well, er, um, I suppose . . .
Uh . . . I just-- I just worry that I'll lose you!
Oh, Severus; that just can't come true
!
And we'll preserve each other;
We'll be there though come what may;
We'll preserve each other,
Won't we now?
You know what? Always.
See?
Always!
Flying through life,
We're fine just as we are!
Because it's your own life,
What else can we do?
Let's find greatness;
Our life as we create it,
As we're flying through!
Dashing beside me, wolf, rat, and deer;
I can scarcely believe that tonight we're all here.
My wildest dreamings could not foresee
Completing this mission, with pals beside me!
From this moment onward, as long as we're friends
I've vowed to be loyal until the very end,
And if it turns out we're caught in this scheme,
I vow to protect our whole team,
As long as we're friends.
Maybe I'm foolish,
Maybe I'm blind-
But you've got me trusting
You all for all time.
Somehow I'm feeling
Less bestial;
Friends standing by me,
Like a calming spell!
Every moment,
As long as we're friends,
I can rely on
This power that transcends!
Say we're not perfect,
In our strange quartet-
We've found
Deeper down
No regrets!
This moment onward,
As long as we're friends,
Pranking and transforming,
A crazy, happy blend!
Beneath yellow moonlight,
The rising full moon
In times soon.
As long as we're friends . ..
What is it?
It's just . . . for the first time . . . I'm not . . . a traitor.
Sirius, why can't you just obey for once, instead of flying off the handle?
I hope it's worth it!
I hope it's worth it, now!
I hope it's worth it that you broke up our whole family, with this selfish namby-pampy!
I know it's worth it!
And it's worth a bit to you!
How are you proud to go just grovel in submission to their foolish traditions?
So though I can't imagine why,
I hope it's worth it, this time!
Sirius, just listen to me:
Just say you're sorry!
You're still my older brother,
However much we fight.
You still could gain our parents' favor-
I can't win favor.
No-reject favor
Here tonight.
Something has changed within me;
I face it as a man.
I cannot give in to the rules
Of some old-fashioned clan.
That part of me has gone to rust.
It's time to trust my feelings,
Take a breath, and trust-
It's time to try defining loyalties.
I think I'll try defining loyalties-
And you can't change my mind.
Can't I make you understand-your confidence is illusion?
I'm through deciding friendships
Based on how bloodlines go.
They've got no bearing on the soul
Residing deep below!
Please Mum and Dad- I guess I've failed!
But I've got friends,
And the friendship that entails!
I'll give a try, defining loyalties.
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defining loyalties-
And you can't change my mind!
Regulus, listen to me.
Think of what they did, to your own brother!
You may call it "disloyalty."
You call it the greatest ever shame upon our name-
Regulus!
Can't you see they're lying?
My patience you are trying.
Why can't I make you see the same?
Who's you or I
To define our loyalties?
Who's you or I
To define our loyalties?
I cannot change your mind.
Well, will you miss me?
I hope it's worth it, this awful choice you've made.
You too.
I hope you have a good one, with lots of friends and good fun!
I hope it's worth it in the end!
I hope it's worth it, my friend!
If you'd have cared to be friends,
I'd be loyal as a hound!
As my really true friends know;
I'll never let my real friends touch the ground!
He takes off from the window and hovers.
So if I betrayed my family,
That massive family tree,
You can just tell them
It felt like they all betrayed me!
I've reapplied, defining loyalties-
And soon enough they'll find:
That nobody, in this whole House,
My father or his wicked spouse
Is ever gonna change my mind!
I hope it's worth it!
Look at him, the traitor! Get him!
SIRIUS:
Change my mind!
ORION/WALBURGA:
No one mourns a traitor!
Let's see if we can't change his-
Mind!
Regulus, now that your brother is long gone, I've decided
you make you my new favorite.
You really don't
have to do that.
I know. That's
what makes me such a . . . witch.
-And let's face it; who isn't less fanatical than I?-
I kind of tend to make them want to bleed.
And when someone needs to darken up
I tell them to harken up:
I make them make themselves conform to me.
My dear cousin whom I so revere-
Don't think that I would let you off the hook.
You won't learn from books;
It's time you took
It from me . . .
You're gonna be Death Eaters.
I'll teach you just what to do
Working with You-Know-You,
All the spells to curse and kill.
Ooh! I'll show your robes so dark,
And give you your Dark Mark-
Everything to fit the bill to be-
I'll help you be Death Eaters!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
Not those Mudblood sorts
Like your brother, that foul fool . . .
So let's start,
'Cause we've got an awfully lot to do . . .
You'll see an awful lot of blood in our shenanigans.
Now that I'm paying you so much attention
You better not betray me
I'll kill you, and not maybe-
And with a pack of--
Death Eaters!
I'm in with the Death Eaters-
And with an assist from me,
My full guarentee,
You'll succeed though you are begin . . . ners . . .
So nothing can prevent you
From becoming Death Eat-en . . . ers . . .
I'm gonna make you Death Eaters.
With your befouled ancient bloodline
I remind you on your own behalf
To think of the Dark Lord himself in his youth:
He was no worse off than you.
Had he a Muggle father?
Don't make me laugh!
But he's a Death Eater! Please!
It's all just for Death Eaters!
It's not just your bloodline
It's how it's applied
So you ought decide to be
Evil, evil Death Eaters,
Like me!
We-we have to
go . . .
You're welcome!
As your tone suggests
That you may digress;
Towards the lions you may teeter--
I'll hurry up and complete
My task to make you Death Eaters!
You'll be Death Eaters!
Just not quite as good Death Eaters as me!
Oh, Kreacher! For many years I have waited
For a chance like this to arrive!
Why, I predict this service could bring our house
Years of fallen pride!
Oh my, oh my!
You'll go at once to the Dark Lord;
Tell him you've taken the chore!
But with darkness like his, I worry it could get hardcore . . .
So when you've done your task,
To home you must come back!
Did that really just happen?
Did he really just say
That this elf who resides in the dirt and grime
Has a purpose that may
Help my dear Young Master
If I obey?
So I'll obey!
I'll help his great Dark Lord.
I'll help my Young Master;
And I won't be, well, bored!
And on orders from these masters--
Which, as an elf, I must follow--
I'll help split up his . . . soul?
Into Horcruxes or Hallows-- whoa!
He said to us:
"We need some elfish skills.
On obedience we will rely!"
That's how we'll help our Lord,
Young Master and I.
His whole life will change.
For when he helps his master,
He'll prob'ly get a raise!
His father'll be proud of him;
His mother'll go insane!
And all the Blacks'll have to love him
For bringing them acclaim!
And if a hex or a curse,
I have to dodge,
It'll be worth it because
I've done it on his watch,
Young Master and I.
The elf who helped on this mission,
Shouldn't the owner who brought you here
Get a better position?"
And though Bella's prone to her jealousy;
She's worked on him as her prodigy.
I'm sure she'll understand
When he's the Dark Lord's right hand!
He'll get a plaque when he dies!
We'll go down in history,
Young Master and I!
We'll go down in history,
Young Master and . . .
We've no room for disloyalty!
Unlike his brother who we've long since bid goodbye . . .
I know it sounds like I'm boasting,
As through life, he's now coasting--
But I can tell you exactly why!
He's found the friends that suit him best--
And left the rest behind!
Crowned in glory head to toe
And though Death Eaters don't cry,
With tears we'll almost choke!
And so it will be that I risk my own life--
I won't even complain if I die!
My aid I will extend--
I'll even face the bitter end--
For my very greatest friend--
Young Master, and I!
Every year, more traitors!
Every year, the numbers grow!
The family tree is studded now with holes!
That's the way with traitors-
Filling us with this false hope!
They don't warn us, 'til it's time to go!
Off with some filthy Mudblood,
Andromeda's left us!
And with her, Uncle Alphard,
Giving gold to Sirius!
Sirius!
Why this plague of traitors?
Has our family been hexed?
Tell us now:
Who'll betray us next?
Who'll betray us next?
Who'll betray us next?
My dear relatives, as treacherous as treachery is, let us
put aside our mourning for this one day, and celebrate!
Oh what a celebration we'll have today!
Fine bloodline!
BELLATRIX:
Let's have a celebration, a fine soiree!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
Fine bloodline!
KREACHER:
Still we have members who the Dark Lord do impress!
DEPARTED FAMILY:
We couldn't be worthier-- fine bloodline!
BELLATRIX:
Yes, we couldn't be worthier-- right, cuz?
He asked us for aid;
Willingly we gave:
Our elf did so, unyielding.
So we couldn't be worthier--
True, cuz?
Couldn't be worthier.
And we're happy to share;
Our glory inherits back to all of you.
I couldn't be happier.
He couldn't be humbler.
We couldn't be worthier,
Because worthiness is worth it,
When you do just what you're told!
Oh, Kreacher is not worthy, Miss Bella!
As a House Elf, Kreacher is only doing what he is told.
The day Kreacher was summoned
By Young Master for this task
He gave him some orders that he had to heed.
When the Dark Lord gave a task
He did it as he asked
And came right back home, as was decreed!
The Dark Lord's gotten strong!
He's got more than one soul now;
Kreacher did for him part of his greatest need!
I hear that Slytherin's locket really is not a fake!
I hear that he has shed his soul into the soul of his pet
snake!
I hear that he's gotten one into Ravenclaw's lost diadem!
I hear his soul's split up so much, you never could can him!
Can him!
What?
Can him? Ha! Why would anyone can him?
Do you hear that? Can him? People are so unfaithful these
days; they don't believe he'll live forever.
Bella! Oh-that's true, dear cousin. They underestimate our
Lord. They're so unfaithful that way.
But I-- I couldn't be worthier.
Simply couldn't be worthier-
(To himself) Though it is, I admit,
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated-
But I couldn't be worthier-
Simply couldn't be worthier-
Well, not simply . . .
Doing as you're told
Can get rather old,
And kind of, well, overrated.
I get just a bit depressed.
My true self I must suppress.
I'm starting to feel stressed
Over the stress of feeling stressed!
Doesn't glow as they told me so-
Though-
With this unending glory
The blood and the gory's fine!
Why,
Who wouldn't feel worthier?
So I couldn't feel worthier,
Because worthiness is worth it
Doing just as you're told.
Well, isn't it?
Worthiness is doing
Just as you are told!
We love you, Reg'lus, our only and favorite son!
Fine pureblood!
For all of this honor we know what we've got to
thank: fine pure blood!
And that means our Kreacher, Bella,
And Regulus!
She couldn't be happier,
He couldn't be humbler,
We couldn't be happier!
I couldn't be worthier!
Today!
Our fine bloodline at work today!
Step back; look hard:
What they want isn't what you are.
They've got a son,
The favorite one . . .
I'm not that son.
Kreacher!
Let his blood flow again;
When they hex him
Let him feel the pain!
And as I now attempt to destroy him
Let the Dark Lord die!
Let the Dark Lord die!
I can't even tell what I'm seeing!
I've drunk it so my very soul feels sore!
Take this locket and leave me!
Destroy it 'til it's gone and then some more--
Settle up the score!
No whole soul has no conscience!
No human person feels guiltless when guilty.
No whole soul has no conscience,
I've come to see.
Renouncing human values lessens our humanity.
No whole soul has no conscience.
The Longbottoms.
The Potters.
One question pokes and prods,
Too much, much too much to say:
Did I change somehow
Or had I always felt this way?
Why did I never act on it?
And now I know I feel this way,
I fear it is too late for this!
No whole soul has no conscience!
And that is why the Dark Lord split into pieces!
No whole soul has no conscience.
I fix it now-- but how now can I fix it?
Myself, I must be punished. I must, as well . . .
Let all purebloods agree:
I'm traitor through and through;
Yet can I still succeed, my Dark Lord,
Killing you?
Will you my conscience see
As I sacrifice myself?
Punish myself!
R.A.B.
Has broke free!
Farewell!
Black-Bellatrix,
Regulus, Sirius-
Good
fortune, Bartemius!
Black-Bellatrix, Regulus, Sirius-
Arrest the Blacks!
Treachery must be punished!
Dark wizards hastily eliminated!
Treachery must be punished!
Arrest the Blacks!
And this is more than just a service to the Ministry.
I have a personal score to settle with Sir-
With the Blacks!
Bella and Regulus;
So for once I'm glad I joined them;
I've got names to blacklist!
And their brother Sirius
The rest of us betrayed.
If he hadn't deceived Lily and James Potter,
They'd still be around, with us, today!
AURORS (ad lib):
Arrest them!
Arrest the Blacks!
Dark wizard hunters, what's your plan of attack?
Because treachery must be punished!
Punished!
Punished!
Like the Blacks!
I sentence you to Azkaban Prison.
INMATES:
Serving time in the Azkaban Prison . . .
SIRIUS:
Oh, but I don't deserve to be in the Azkaban Prison!
INMATES:
Serving time in the Azkaban Prison . . .
Serving time
In the Azkaban Prison,
Serving time
For a lifetime of crime!
Every day that you spend in this prison
Is cruel and debas-ed,
You'll think you've wasted
All of your time!
: There are dementors who suck out our souls.
Horrid food!
In dirty bowls.
Cockroaches!
And spiders-
All on the floors . ..
There are horrors like I've never seen-
We're all starved!
. . . and we're all lean!
We've never been this miserable before!
I don't deserve to be in this place-
I was framed for that I didn't do!
I tortured those I needed to!
But now we're stuck in the Dementors' embrace!
Serving time
In the Azkaban Prison
Serving time
Feeling numb and depressed
Serving time . . .
And we're warning the prison:
Now that you've got us,
Don't think you can stop us!
We'll break out the best!
Sirius? Why are you here? You
don't really fit in!
Whose regime
Gave us mean sentence without trial
And sent us here with a smile?
What supreme
Man keenly strolled in to make
Our time less worthwhile?
With his want of habeas corpus
Look at all the pleasure he gives us!
Woo-oo-oo! Isn't he scrumptu-ous!
Our Minister Fudge.
Serving time in the Azkaban Prison.
Serving time for a lifetime of crime.
Whose regime
Gave us mean sentence without trial
And sent us here with a smile?
What supreme
Man keenly strolled in to make
Our time less worthwhile?
What a way to be thrown in the Prison . .
And though we all suffer,
It makes us tougher!
And then just like now we can say--
We'll take them down . . .
Take him down . . .
Take you down!
Serving our endlessly endless . . .
The Minister will see
you now!
Time!
Oh, Severus, the things one hears about you. Surprising things!
I heard from a friend, quite near Spinner's End,
You'd joined with the Order's cause;
You had even got their applause!
And beloved Dumbledore,
The leader who we both adore
Has hired you here;
I thought it so queer!
It's so small but still
Quite hard to ignore
By those you knew before;
Something good has happened in this war!
Something good? Happened in this war?
Since I last saw you.
Since we last met . . .
Something goooooooooood.
Remus, if something good has happened to me, surely you'll
finally trust me.
In fact, you need me.
So something good . . .
You must be right.
Something truly good . . .
REMUS:
Something very goooooooood.
Sorry, good.
Has really happened in this war . . .
I never planned for it;
I pulled it from my hat.
I was only acting
On the whims of the rat.
I never proved myself
As good as all my Housemates.
It's clear who I was:
One of your Squib-cousin
Desperate states.
With Potter, the glory-greedy;
Because of course, arrogant sorts
Like the underhanded needy!
Does it surprise you I got hooked
To friendly glow?
What can I say? They gave me what I crave:
A powerful shadow!
He called me his best friend,
So I said, "Your best friend?
If you insist!
I will be your best friend;"
He called me his best friend-
Believe me, it's hard to resist!
'Cause we need a best friend,
We all want a best friend,
So I was his best friend,
A shaggy rat-
Which he entrusted to
A secret so taboo-
Which I promptly broke to leave him flat!
You see, I never felt like I was really treated as your friend. So,
I guess, I just wanted to show him how it felt.
So you betrayed us.
Sirius, the way I see it, there was never loyalty to begin with.
A Slytherin is vicious-
Or clever and ambitious.
A Gryffindor is brave
Or hotheaded.
Is one a winner,
Or just a lucky sinner?
It's all in which voicing
Is choicest to be said.
We're all prone to selfish needs;
No need now to disagree--
We just act as though they don't exist!
But now I'm his best friend,
A great buddy to my master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
And I don't feel in the least ashamed.
At long, long last I've received my due
Long overdue!
Sirius; even the greatest leader
Is subject to moral teeter . . .
And for now I'm doing fine:
I've found the friends that suit me best--
And left the rest behind!
I am now his best friend!
REMUS:
And he is your best friend?
PETER:
That's what I'll prove!
SIRIUS/REMUS:
You know he's your best friend;
But you're not our best friend!
His best friend, your best friend--
SIRIUS (counting so he and Remus can kill him):
One, two, and . . .
I am a very loyal witch
And people often wonder whether
I'm a sweetheart, or a bitch,
Because I try hard to keep the family together.
So, Sirius, I'd like now to point out:
For friends you left your family on the ground-
And killing you this fine fight
Allows me to feel so self-righteous
For I am a very loyal witch.