Copyright 2008 by JustLivePosthumously
Author's Note: My Fair Lady is a classic story filled with memorable characters, songs, and Cockney slang. Using the movie soundtrack, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban comes to life in a spirited, surprising, and special mix of terrible Aunts, hatreds, betrayals, big revealing moments, long-standing rivalries, and grueling lesson plans.
The curtain opens to a very busy Privet Drive, everyone is preparing for Aunt Marge's visit. Harry is bored. Aunt Petunia is cleaning, Uncle Vernon is watching the TV blaring about Sirius, Dudley is making a mess
Why Can't the English?
Adapted from Why Can't the English?
Aunt Marge enters at the end of the Overture and sits down prestigiously. The conversation drifts towards Harry
AUNT MARGE:
HARRY:
AUNT MARGE (imitating him):
HARRY (irritated):
AUNT MARGE:
(continuing)
Hear me out, this boy's a freak
HARRY:
AUNT MARGE:
HARRY (spoken underbreath)
AUNT MARGE:
Why can't the English beat their children to respect
HARRY (spoken):
AUNT MARGE:
I've bred a dog or two, so this boy's just a stitch
Her glass shatters on the word "bitch" but she continues
I'm awfully sorry, I often grip the glass too tight?
Why can't the English get a handle on this freak
She starts rising off her chair
Why can't the English fix this lot!
She realizes her position and begins to scream. Harry runs away.
He Did It!
Adapted from You Did It!
The Knight Bus. Stan and Ern are examining a newspaper about Sirius Black. They begin a conversation with "Neville"
STAN:
HARRY:
STAN:
HARRY:
STAN:
And now that he's escaped you see
ERN:
STAN:
ERN:
STAN:
BOTH:
STAN (spoken):
HARRY (spoken):
STAN:
Every time they come around
ERN:
HARRY: No!
Stan grabs the paper again
His hair is darker than the night which clearly indicates that he is wicked
The Knight Bus stops at the Leaky Cauldron
STAN (shouting):
Minister Fudge is waiting there
BUS and STREET PEOPLE:
The BUS and STREET PEOPLE swarm FUDGE, who sees HARRY and pulls him from the crowd
BUS and STREET PEOPLE:
STAN and ERN (waving the newspaper frantically):
Doesn't That Sound Lovely?
Adapted from Wouldn't It Be Loverly?
Harry's room in the Leaky Cauldron, Harry thinks about his letters. He can almost hear their voices singing to him
RON'S LETTER:
HARRY:
Right now, hunting me down and waiting is a criminal
Every year it's another thrill
Harry exits into Diagon Alley
DIAGON ALLEY PEOPLE:
HARRY:
Every morning I wish that I was someone else, not me
ALL:
Street people whistle and dance, Harry walks around the alley and takes another look at the Firebolt
HARRY:
Ron and Hermione join him after the song
With a Little Bit of Fate
Adapted from With a Little Bit of Luck
Professor Trelawney's first lesson
TRELAWNEY:
TRELAWNEY and PATILS (THE THREE):
TRELAWNEY:
TRELAWNEY:
THE THREE:
TRELAWNEY:
The fates above are always true and even
THE THREE:
TRELAWNEY:
THE THREE:
Dance break
TRELAWNEY:
Accustomed To His Class
Adapted from I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face
Harry hurries from Quidditch practice to Defense Against the Dark Arts where he finds Snape teaching instead of Lupin
SNAPE (spoken)
The class began ten minutes ago, Potter, so I think we'll make it ten points from Gryffindor. Sit down!
HARRY:
The lights dim
HARRY (the class quietly hums accompaniment):
Lights up, SNAPE paces the front of the room, speaking to the audience backhandedly
SNAPE (Spoken):
Addressing the class, Snape pulls down an overhead for a slideshow on werewolves
(sung) You will listen now, Mr. Harry Potter-James
(pointing at the screen) Take a look at this, it's a werewolf there's no doubt
Hermione shouts out "Please, sir, the werewolf is…." but Snape answers "Shut up, Granger!" and continues more angrily and directed toward the audience not the class
How poignant it'll be on that inevitable night
But I'm a most forgiving man
The class is somewhat nervous because Snape is so upset
(shouted) Professor Lupin! - HA!
The bell rings, Snape gives the Werewolf essay assignment, the kids walk out quietly and he sits down behind the desk
(Sung) They are so used to hear him say
They've grown accustomed to his past
Snape cleans up the classroom, rolls up the slideshow and exits defeated
The Quidditch Gavotte
Adapted from The Ascot Gavotte
Fanfare for the opening of Gryffindor vs. Sltyhering, actually Hufflepuff. The players enter the filed and the fans line up in stands with much pomp and circumstance. They sing very precisely and carry umbrellas, blankets, and gear decked out in house colors
QUIDDITCH AUDIENCE:
Brooms are flying!
Silence as the games first sequence progress. Gryffindor scores and they begin again
What a frenzied moment that was!
They dance in the stands and use their umbrellas as props. The game continues regardless into the reprise
Here we go again, Harry's on the fly
The Grim flashes across the sky and the Dementors appear
HARRY'S NIGHTMARE (Harry falters as the screams intensify)
Harry falls onto the pitch with a blackout
Adapted from Hymn to Him
Harry is upset because McGonagall will not look past his unsigned permission form for Hogsmeade
HARRY:
Teachers are irrational, that's all there is to that!
RON:
HARRY:
RON:
HARRY:
RON:
HARRY:
RON:
HARRY:
Maybe once or twice have I been troublesome
RON:
HARRY:
RON:
HARRY:
RON:
HARRY:
(To Hermione) Hermione, pretend you're a teacher…
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
On The Marauder's Map
Adapted from On The Street Where You Live
Harry is moping around depressed because he can't go to Hogsmeade. Fred and George pull him aside
FRED and GEORGE:
Filch walks through the hallway, the twins stop as he walks over suspiciously - Dialogue between Filch, Fred, and George
FRED and GEORGE: Yes sir
Both begin talking very fast
FRED and GEORGE: Nothing sir. Would you like to see it? It's just a present for Harry since he can't go to Hogsmeade and we
just wanted to….
The chatter drives Filch away. George taps on the parchment
GEORGE (spoken):
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
FRED and GEORGE (Music):
And oh, the thundering feeling
FRED and GEORGE:
On The Marauder's Map (Reprise)
HARRY (spoken to map):
(sung) I have often walked past this place before
And this conspiring feeling
Harry bumps his head on the cellar door in Honeydukes
Not Me!
Adapted from Show Me
Hogsmeade: Harry found out the story of Sirius Black's betrayal, he finds Hermione and Ron
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
Don't talk of fear, danger and woe, don't talk of snow
Here I was a-spying on the scene up in that bar
Isn't my life
Tell me no tales! Tell me no lies!
Oh it will be me that puts that traitor in his grave
Sirius Black, sooner I'll yell
I Have A Firebolt!
Adapted from I Could Have Danced All Night (Note: Firebolt is pronounced Fi-er-bolt)
Christmas - Harry unwraps his presents and discovers the Firebolt
HARRY:
Ron and Hermione find out about Harry's gift, they mutter about the broom's fate but Harry doesn't even notice
RON: I can't believe it!
HARRY:
Professor McGonagall enters and takes the broom
MCGONAGALL:
Harry is devastated
But this is still your broom!
HARRY (hushed excitedly):
Patronus Practice/The Fight For Right
Adapted from The Servants' Chorus/The Rain in Spain
Harry Potter is taking defense lessons from Lupin and is down on himself for not being able to master the Patronus charm
HARRY:
LUPIN (counting down):
Lupin releases the Boggart/Dementor and Harry fails. Lupin sings to himself
Quit, Professor Lupin!
(spoken with exhaustion) The fight for right is rightly for the bright
HARRY (with slow conviction):
LUPIN (seeing some confidence):
HARRY (sung):
LUPIN:
HARRY:
Xylophone plays while another Boggart/Dementor is released
I say Expecto Patronum!
The Boggart is defeated
LUPIN:
Yet another Boggart/Dementor is released and they dance as Harry's stag Patronum flies throughout the room
(shouted) Okay!
LUPIN (spoken):
Just You Wait
Adapted from Just You Wait
Gryffindor Tower is in chaos after Sirius' second venture into the building. Malfoy, still rather jealous over Harry's Firebolt and victory over Ravenclaw imagines Harry Potter's demise if Voldemort ever comes back to power
MALFOY:
Just you wait, Harry Potter, 'til I win
Oooooh Harry Potter
One day I'll be famous, with the best I'll consort
Then we'll find you, Harry Potter, yes we will
The Hogsmeade Waltz
Adapted from The Embassy Waltz
Harry's second visit to Hogsmeade. It is a very joyous occasion. Harry throws snowballs at Malfoy and all that. Malfoy sees Harry's head and he flees back to the castle. He has his discussion with Snape. He exits and Hermione tells him that Buckbeak has lost the case.
Just You Wait (Reprise)
Orchestral Passage. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, cross stage to Hagrid's because they heard about Buckbeak's execution, when they are gone, a sneering Malfoy appears from the shadows
DRACO:
He exits the stage
Adapted from The Transylvanian March
Quidditch final. The processional blares loudly as Gryffindor and Slytherin enter the arena. Lee Jordan blares above the audience announcing. When the music ends, Madame Hooch blows the whistle
Trelawney's True Prediction
Adapted from the first Flower Market
The music begins slowly and with every sudden sting, Trelawney begins to talk louder
THE DARK LORD LIES ALONE AND FRIENDLESS, ABANDONED BY HIS FOLLOWERS. HIS SERVANT HAS BEEN CHAINED THESE TWELVE YEARS. TONIGHT, BEFORE MIDNIGHT…THE SERVANT WILL BREAK FREE AND SET OUT TO REJOIN HIS MASTER. THE DARK LORD WILL RISE AGAIN WITH HIS SERVANT'S AID, GREATER AND MORE TERRIBLE THAN EVER HE WAS. TONIGHT…BEFORE MIDNIGHT…
She fades off as the flowing music overwhelms her. Her head nods forward. She snaps out of it.
TRELAWNEY:
The next few scenes go very quickly….Hagrid's hut, the Whomping Willow, the Shrieking Shack
I'm a Snape-ish Kind of Man
Adapted from I'm an Ordinary Man
The Shrieking Shack, Lupin explains who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are and why. Near the end they discuss why Snape has such a grudge against them. Suddenly Snape appears
SNAPE: Potter, forgive the rudeness, but I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow. Very useful, thank you. Are you wondering how I knew you were all here?
(Turning to Lupin) Very lucky you've forgotten to take your potion tonight. Lucky for me - that is.
Snape pulls out the Marauder's Map
I find the moment that a man makes friends with murderers he becomes ruthless, and a damn traitor! And I find that the moment someone else realizes what he his doing they become righteous and vengeful. So here I am, a disturbed old classmate and likely to find justice.
Well after all, Lupin
But…Professor Snape was right, thankfully we're all not dim
You thought that I was just a loser
Professor Snape was right
LUPIN:
But…Professor Snape you're wrong
If you would only look and listen
Professor Snape you're wrong
Professor Snape quickly binds Lupin with strings from his wand
SNAPE:
But…when Professor Snape is done
This is the time for which I've waited
Much commotion and conversation occurs rapidly. Harry, Hermione, and Ron all shout Expelliarmus. The spell flashes wildly and Snape is slammed against the door. He quietly mumbles
This is the moment that Professor Snape was right…
Without You Pettigrew
Adapted from Without You
Scabbers is revealed to actually be Peter Pettigrew. He begins pleading for his life
PETTIGREW (spoken) :
RON
PETTIGREW (terrified):
SIRIUS (spoken)
(sung) You're a rat and spy Pettigrew
You're a failed Secret Keep Pettigrew
You, dear friend, who used his spell
You thought you got away Pettigrew
PETTIGREW:
LUPIN (Spoken):
SIRIUS, RON, and HERMIONE:
SIRIUS and LUPIN:
PETTIGREW:
SIRIUS (spoken):
HARRY:
Get Me To Go Back In Time
Adapted from Get Me to the Church On Time
After much action has taken place, Dumbledore takes Harry and Hermione aside to point them in the right direction
DUMBLEDORE (spoken):
(sung) There's just a few more minutes
HARRY (spoken):
DUMBLEDORE (spoken to Hermione) :
Hermione grabs Harry into the cupboard and starts singing
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
Hermione twists it three times and a chorus of voices sing
CHORUS with HARRY/HERMIONE:
They arrive three hours earlier that day
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
BOTH:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
BOTH:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
BOTH:
HERMIONE:
FUDGE:
MACNAIR:
HARRY and HERMIONE (stealing Buckbeak):
They sneakily "tap dance" away and Buckbeak lets out a squeal
FUDGE, MACNAIR, DUMBLEDORE, and HAGRID (in an uproar):
Harry, Hermione & Buckbeak "tap dance" sneakily away again and witness the Whomping Willow scene
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
Hagrid emerges from his celebration somewhat tipsy
HAGRID:
Lupin walks across stage
HARRY & HERMIONE:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
SNAPE (emerging triumphantly onto stage):
They go back to Hagrid's hut off stage to wait until Sirius is captured in the tower, as the orchestration goes we see a reenactment of various scenes in the shrieking shack, the woods, etc., the scene dissolves into the Dementor scene
SEVERAL VOICES:
Harry is waiting for his "father" to rescue Sirius and his double, Dementors ooh
HARRY:
HUSHED VOICES:
HARRY:
Harry performs the Patronus very slowly
I've found the reason for time's turning
(several voices join)
There's no going back!
A huge commotion of lights and colors, Harry and Hermione fly up to the tower where Black is help captive
Sirius Black's Farewell
Adapted from the Intermission dialogue and music
Orchestral Passage. Sirius is sitting lonely in the room. Harry and Hermione open the window
SIRIUS (spoken):
He hops onto Buckbeak with them. A few moments later, they land
SIRIUS:
The Hippogriff takes flight again and they fly into the moon light and disappear
Look at him, the wizard here at Privet
Condemned a freak no matter what name you give it
To me he should be taken out and schooled
With a rod and staff, now don't be fooled
Nooo!
Nooo!
Heavens! What a child!
This is what St. Brutus' regulation
Calls a judiciary education
Oh, I believe I've had an education
(spoken) Do you?
A sorry case who cannot speak
Kindly, with respectful attitude
You boy, do you go to school?
What do you take me for, a fool?
But still he acts so dumbly and so rude
Vernon and Petunia now
Took you in don't ask me how?
I'd thought that they would throw you out at once
Orphaned, lonely, and depressed
That's what you are
Supressed
(spoken) Harry, respect your Uncle and your Aunts
(continuing) It us that keeps you from the gutters
And put up with your senseless mutters
This ancient school advancement is truly still correct
If I spoke as you do, boy, instead of the way I do
Why I'd get a beating often too
I'm very sorry, Aunt Marge
It's not you fault he's rotten if the core is hollowed out
It's just the facts of breeding that this boy is all about
Oh, there was a problem with the bitch
But when it comes to breeding I am right
There even are places where breeding goes truly out of sight
Who ever had this boy must've really picked a fight!
This country has its problems, but now it's at its peak
A family that has children so untidy from head to toe
(spoken) This boy's father was a bum if I'm not mistaken
And that helps his case not at all!
(continue) His family was a family made of absolutely trash
I guess that's why they tipped the bottle in an automotive crash
Good proper Englishmen and women they were not!
Why can't the English
Today, oh boy, he did it!
He did it! He did it! The papers said he did it
So indeed he did! We don't want to admit it
But look how he did it. I'm not the guy to kid it
But succeed he did.
He's the kind of person that nobody wants to meet
What about him? What about him?
He murdered thirteen Muggles oh so plainly in the street
Now, wait? Now, wait?
How did he get that way?
Why has he escaped today?
I can't believe he did it, he did it, he did it
When working for old You-Know-Who
The whole darn street he did blow blue!
There's no doubt about it…he did it!
He adds to his great mystery
Never has there been a prison break
He was kept in Azkaban,
The strongest prison in the lan'
But somehow there was some huge mistake
The papers cry "He's loose at large"
The Minister, the one in charge
Is worried that he'll start another crime
And when the Minister of Magic
Starts to worry
And writes about the Minister who's Prime
We can say…
He did it! He did it! He did it!
They knew he was a terror
And left Azkaban in error
And now we know…that he…..did it!
Thank goodness for the Dementors.
If it isn't for them, we'd all be lost.
Dementors? What are they? Why are they there?
Neville, you don't know much. They are frightful things
(continuing) Those creatures who guard the prisoners with fear
Suck out your memories if you get to near
They make it their devilish business to keep
The convicts in a deathly sleep
There they'll be, up off the ground - Dementors
Smelling out their victims trail
Making faces white and pale - Tormentors
Sirius is foolish just to think that he could try and run away from them
'cause they'll hunt him down and then they'll play with him
Oozing grief from ev'ry lobe
Hidden behind a dark robe
Ev'ry second they can get
They'll make your mem'ries to forget
And when they've got what they see fit
They leave you in a darkened pit
And with a hiss of evil
And dark dead lips,
They'll tear off their hood
And kill you with a kiss!
STAN: You'll know!
Whereas other wizard's find a job, he lived instead with crooks whose names are stricken
And although he was a good old friend and charming Gryffindor and often renegade
I can tell you he is now a masquerade
He is absolutely mad! Laughs at death!
He is a lunatic!
He even laughed the night he killed the Muggles with a deadly curse
Disloyalty is absolutely written in his face
He was a friend of Potter-James, the Hogwart's ground he did traverse
But no one knows of why he came to such a large disgrace
He is an evil man who can't turn back
That is the madmen, the wicked Sirius Black!
Next stop! Next stop! Next stop!
Our patronage to Minister Fudge
Our patronage to Minister Fudge
You will be the one to put him back!
(Simultaneously) Our patronage to Minister Fudge
What will you do with Sirius Black?
Our patronage to Minister Fudge
Raise alarm and find the culprit
Everybody's waiting to see what you're going to do!
This horrid day he did it! He did it! He did it!
The paper says he did it so indeed he did
We don't want to admit, he did it! He did it!
We don't know how he did it
But-you did it, oh that culprit
For there's nothing we can do!
Percy's the Head Boy now and wow Egypt was cool to see. Mmmmmm.
MCGONAGALL'S LETTER:
Permission forms for you about your visits to Hogmeade. Mmmmmm.
HERMIONE'S LETTER:
In France I finished up my essay for Magic History.
ALL THREE:
Mmmm, Mmmm, how are things with you, Harry?
All I want is a room somewhere
Filled with friends with whom I can share
My every thought and care
Oh, doesn't that sound lovely?
Every way that I look or stare
Someone's watching from over there
Another fright or scare
Oh, doesn't that sound lovely?
Sirius Black is watching me
From over me windowsill
Some new menace who seeks to kill
Will I have enough skill?
Oh, doesn't that sound lovely
Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely
Harry Potter the boy we see
Must watch out where'er he may be
Black's on his killing spree
Oh, doesn't that sound lovely?
I've no family that's left to find
Hardly no one to share my mind
I'm sick of being kind
Oh doesn't that sound lovely?
Someone normal, just a boy,
With a real family
Watch that boy, someday he'll go far
Destiny's written on his star
HARRY:
And on my stupid scar!
Oh, doesn't that sound lovely?
ALL:
Lovely
HARRY:
Lovely
ALL:
Lovely
Oh, doesn't that sound lovely?
ALL:
Lovely
HARRY:
Lovely
ALL:
Lovely
Doesn't that sound lovely?
The fates above gave us a life of fortune
With many moons and suns and stars and such
The fates above gave us a life of fortune - but
With a little bit of fate, with a little of fate
They will not destroy your hopes too much
With a little bit…with a little bit…With a little bit of fate you'll still have hope!
The stars above give us a good prediction
To see if our lives really are divine
The stars above give us a good prediction - but
With a little bit of fate, with a little of fate
You prediction will be worse than mine
THE THREE:
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fate your worse than me!
Oh, you can see your Grims in tea leaves
HARRY and RON:
But with a little bit of fate you'll miss the date
TRELAWNEY:
The true prediction lies within the prophet
With practice they will see the fates anew
The true prediction lies with the prophet - but
With a little bit of fate, with a little bit of fate
Every prophecy will deal with you!
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fate it deals with you!
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fortuned fate!
The fates are throwing darkness at you
But with a little bit of fate it clears its plate
They never lie, or tattle, squeal, or tell
The fates above are always true and even - but
With a little bit of fate, with a little bit of fate
Every fate will make your life like hell
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fate it deals with you!
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fortuned fate!
I see the fates have chosen you for target
The set the date and make the choice for you
I see the fates have chosen you for target - but
With a little bit of fate, with a little bit of fate
There's nothing that a man can do
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fate it deals with you!
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fortuned fate!
Oh, it's the truth, the prophecies I tell you
I have never, ever, been in wrong
Oh, it's the truth, the prophecies I tell you -but
With a little bit of fate, with a little bit of fate
You will see the fortune right along
THE THREE
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fate it deals with you!
With a little bit…with a little bit…with a little bit of fortuned fate!
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!
I've grown accustomed to his class
He almost makes the day begin
I've grown accustomed to the tasks
That he gives us when he asks
His smiles, his frowns
His ups, his downs
Are second nature to me now
His Boggarts, kappas, Grindylows
I was serenely comprehensive of Defensive rules and arts
Lupin's truly someone on which love grows - Just starts
I've grown accustomed to his looks
Accustomed to his voice
Accustomed to his class
Harry Potter -- what an impudent student! What a mindless, lazy, thing to teach.
But Lupin loves him, Lupin loves him! He's hooked before he even knows why.
With your simple little mind that's filled with rags
You will understand that its Lupin that's to blame
With his silly little antics and his gags
Hasn't anyone yet noticed
That he's sick at the full moon
Have your little minds not processed
That my potions keep him from his night swoon
There's a difference from a normal wolf a least
Is there anyone who knows what I speak about?
Anyone at all who can define the beast!
No one! How simply frightful!
How humiliating! How delightful!
When I catch him helping Sirius in the dark
Miserable and lonely, repentant and contrite
Will I take him in or return him to the Guards
Give forgiveness or the treatment they deserve?
Will I turn them in to meet Dementor's Kiss!
The sort who never could, ever would,
Take my vengeance and coldly let them die
A most forgiving man.
But, I shall never soon forget
If they were crawling on their knees
Let them burn in hell with James
Let them call me evil names
I'll rat them out and let their rawhides freeze!
"Good morning" ev'ry day
They reprise he
And despise me
It's second nature to me now
Being the second to the best
I'm very grateful he's a teacher and the students like him so
Always there's the people that you will detest -I know
His friendly funny ways
Accustomed to his class
Ev'ry class and house and ghost is here
Ev'rytime we fit the most in here
What hazy, absolutely crazy
Morning at the opening Quidditch match
On the pitch are all the players
Waiting for the cue to begin the dash
What a thunderin', positively blundering
Storming of the opening Quidditch match
Players crying!
Bludgers knock out
Every other players' clock out
Any second now, Hooch will give the start
Hark! The whistle's blowing,
They are going upward
Look! A work of art!
Was that not a really impressive snatch
'Twas a thrilling,
Absolutely chilling
Action at the opening Quidditch match
He is flying solo
Flying high to go low
Look, up in the sky…
Not Harry..No, not Harry! Not Harry….No, not Harry!
Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead….(Screams)ACT II
Why in all of heaven do the Dursley's need their say
After all, they're not my parents, Oh…
Why need their permission
Required for admission
To Hogsmeade, why can't they just let me go!
Their heads are full of torture, books, and rules
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
confiscating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating fools!
(to Ron) Ron, why can't an orphan go visit Hogsmeade?
I beg your pardon?
Yes...
Why can't an orphan go visit Hogsmeade
I am so honest, so thoroughly square
Implicitly famous, trustworthy and fair
Who, Dumbledore has given each and ev'ry need
Why can't an orphan see Hogsmeade
Why does ev'ry teacher need permission forms
Can't a teacher learn a thing like trust?
Why do teachers never look outside the norms
Why don't they look past words like "You Must"
Why can't an orphan go visit Hogsmeade
I am no trouble, or hard to control
You won't need to watch me with safety patrol
Do you think ev'ry other student needs a parent
Of course not!
Would it be moral if an orphan had to plead
Nonsense.
Doesn't my argument make evidence apparent
Maybe.
Then why can't an orphan, see Hogsmeade!
But only cause I'm hunted down or hurt
Keeping safe from Black I guess is cumbersome
But even then - I beat Voldemort!
Why can't an orphan go visit Hogsmeade?
Though things are quite risky, it's nothing to much
Even with Sirius, Dementors, and such
Would I be cornered in a room that's filled with danger
Of course not!
As if I can't open my eyes, take watch and heed
Nonsense.
Am I as helpless as a foreign orphaned stranger
Maybe
Still, why can't an orphan see Hogsmeade!
Why can't an orphan go visit Hogsmeade?
Even without permission from home
I won't be a nuisance, so just let me come
Stay in a group, assisted, safe, and taking heed
Why can't an orphan see Hogsmeade?
Why is thinking something that you never do?
Why do you think you can bend the rules?
Why do you think she can break a rule or two
What do you think! This is a school!
Why can't an orphan go visit Hogsmeade?
If I were an orphan who's hunted by Black
A man who Dementors fail to get back
Would I start whining when I can't go a field trip
And think that outside Hogwarts is the place to be
Would I run off and make my friends live with a sealed lip!
That's why an orphan can't see Hogsmeade!
When we smuggled this contraption from the Filch
It completely changed our lives
And we've told the tale no one, nada, zilch
But through us the secret lives and yet survives
As of late we see the danger you've succumbed
With Hogsmeade and Sirius, we aren't…..
FILCH: Uh…what are you doing here?
FRED and GEORGE: Which twin are you asking?
FILCH: Fred and George Weasley. I don't reckon I'll ever tell the difference. What trouble are you making?
FRED and GEORGE: None sir
FILCH (pointing at the parchment): And what's that?
You have often walked down these halls before
But you never knew the passageways these walls have bore
Moony-Wormtail songs, Padfoot and the Prongs
Present you with the Marauder's Map
See the people pass, they are unaware
That a magic map and mapper have them in their stare
This enchantment brings secrets as it sings
For this is just the Marauder's Map
Just to know how to find Hogsmeade
The awesome blundering feeling
That there are nooks and crannied tunnels for your need
People come and go. No one bothers you
For the magic map reveals what the Marauder's knew
Moony-Wormtail songs, Padfoot and the Prongs
Present you with the Marauder's Map!
Mischief managed
I solemnly swear, that I am up to no good.
But the witch had never opened up her face before
I will soon descend, tunnels without end
Knowing I've got the Marauder's Map
There are tunnels here; headed for Hogsmeade
Nothing here to fear the magic map is all I need
Trusting in its power, it's an iv'ry tower
Oh, it's just on the Marauder's Map
Just to know I'll fin'lly be there
The awe-inspiring feeling
That I will come into Hogsmeade out of thin air
Tunnels come and go. They don't…ouch!
Harry, you really shouldn't be here
People will see here, that you've left the school
Just because you have got your towel
Black's on the prowl, Harry, follow the…
Rules! Rules! Rules! I'm so sick of rules!
I get rules all day through
First from them, now from you! Is that all you schoolgirls can do!
Not me!
What do you think
To this I'm new. Easy for you
Not me!
Tell me who really gave me my scar
And I've got a godfather who really understands
How to betray his best friends!
Run of the mill? Found with no thrill
Not me! Not me!
Don't talk of rules binding my fate
Make me no moralist show
Not me, no!
Sirius dies!
Not me!
Don't talk of safe! Don't talk of sure!
Don't listen to her!
Not me!
Don't make think I will behave
Letting the Dementors have their glory would be fine
They better back off --- he's mine!
He'll go to hell!
Not me! Not me!
Don't even care if he's not the man
Drag me to Azkaban -Oh!
Not me, no!
Wait! Wait! Now think of what this is
The greatest broom the world has ever known
How! How! A Christmas dream this is
Perfectly the dream I had is shown
I have a Firebolt!
I have a Firebolt!
That glistens and that shines.
I finally found a dream
That bursted at the seam to show that it is mine.
Don't even care that I don't know the sender
No matter what this broom conceals
I only know that I
Will have the joy to cry
"I have a Firebolt for real!"
HERMIONE: Who could conceive it?
BOTH: He has a Firebolt!
I have a Firebolt!
(RW:You're truly blessed, HG:It's really true)
I have a Firebolt!
(RW:This is the best, HG:Why send to you?
That glistens and that shines
(RW:Go try it out, please, HG:Go turn it in, please
BOTH:It's really odd that you would get this gift)
I finally found a dream
(RW:Don't bother him, HG:I know what's best)
That bursted at the seam to show that it is mine
(RW:Give him some time, HG:No I protest.
(RW:Now let me see, please, HG:This is a trap, Ron, this is a test)
Don't even care that I don't know the sender
No matter what this broom conceals
I only hope that I (RW:Go try it out, HG:Oh use your head)
Will have the joy to cry (RW:Go fly about, HG:And wind up dead!)
I have a Firebolt for real!
You'll understand, dear
This is too grand, dear
Still have a Firebolt!
Still have a Firebolt!
That glistens and that shines
Even this dream that seems
A dream above all dreams
Is still a dream of mine
Even a hex or curse can't steal it
Whatever any spell can deal.
I still will always say
That on this Christmas day
I have a Firebolt for real!
Practice the Patronus!
Practice the Patronus!
On we'll go, say Expecto
Oh, practice the Patronus!
One more try, two more tries
Makes a wizard want to cry!
Three more tries, four more tries…
Five, four, three, two….
Quit, Professor Lupin!
Not like James,
He's not the same,
So, quit, Professor Lupin!
(To Harry) Memories, good and bad, use the good, the warm the bright
Memories, good and bad, pick the best, I'm right!
The fight for right is rightly for the bright
Again…
The fight for right is rightly for the bright!
LUPIN:
I think you've got. I think you've got it.
HARRY:
The fight for right is rightly for the bright!
LUPIN:
Yes, now you've got it! You've really got it!
Now when you fight you got to be bright
HARRY:
Use the light, use the light!
LUPIN:
And search the dark of night
HARRY:
With light, with light!
BOTH:
The fight for right is rightly for the bright!
The fight for right is rightly for the bright!
Now use you new Patronus
Ex-pect-o Pa-tro-num
Now when you fight, you've got to be bright
HARRY:
Use the light, use the light
LUPIN:
And when you're finally bright, you'll be
HARRY:
All right, all right!
BOTH:
The fight for right is rightly for the bright!
The fight for right is rightly for the bright!
Alright, I think that's enough for one night. You're about ready.
Just you wait, Harry Potter, just you wait!
You'll be sorry, but your friends'll be too late!
You'll be dead and I'll be famous
And they'll be no one to blame us!
Just you wait, Harry Potter, just you wait!
And you don't even know where you will begin
When your fortune starts to teeter
I will be the best Death Eater
Oh ho ho, Harry Potter, just you wait!
Just you wait until you're begging on your knees
Oooooh Harry Potter
And then You-Know-Who I finally will appease
When you die you're gonna scream
It's my favorite scheme - my dream!
Oh ho ho Harry Potter!
Oh ho ho Harry Potter!
Just you wait!
Meet my Dark Lord so often that I'll say Voldemort
One evening old Voldie says
"Oh, Draco, young chap
I want all of England to swallow your crap!
This day Draco the Sinister
Is our new Ministry Minister
All the people will celebrate the Dark Arts again
Every Auror and Muggle will be in the pig pen"
"You're the greatest, my master" is what I would've said
"But Harry Potter's better off as dead!"
"Yes," says the Lord Voldemort
"Draco, the ball is in you court"
And we'll drag you over field, and rock, and hill
As we raise our wands above 'ya
We'll shout Avada Kedavra!
Oh ho ho! Harry Potter
Down you'll go, Harry Potter!
Just you wait!
Just you wait, Harry Potter, just you wait
You'll be angry, but your threats will be too late
You'll have killed a Hippogriff-oh
And you'll cry and wheeze and sniff so
Just you wait…ACT III
I'm sorry dear boy. The heat of the day you know…
I'm a very helpful man
Who desires nothing more than doing very helpful tasks
Making potions for a werewolf whenever someone asks
Helpful man am I, with potion expertise
So good at brewing up, a potions cup
Helping a man to not become the beast
Well, just a very helpful man
You're a scalawag to whom no one should have gave a room
For you went on with all your yelping only to go helping him
Professor Snape was right, he will finally have his day
Find a map inside your room
Leading directly to your doom
And so cleanly and so meanly
I find you two quite serenely at your play
Back in days when we were young
But let me ask who is the loser,
When I get to watch you hung
And he triumphs here tonight
Maybe this is now the time when I've settled all your crime
I am glad I caught your notions after making all your potions
And I prove that I, Professor Snape am right!
You're a most suspicious man
Very clever and divisive; who can always see things clear
You have this drive to find the answers for your vengeance that's so near
A stubborn man are you, and blinded by your hate
The sort who bears a grudge, doesn't budge
Let's an insulting action control his fate
A most suspicious man
And you'll never understand
Black is not a crook, on that night he was mistook
And all you have to do is look, it almost like it's in a book, on Scabbers' hand
Instead of seeking out revenge
The one who needs Dementors kissin'
Is the rat we must avenge
And you'll find out before long
That I'm sorry for our past, and that painful mem'ries last
I will ask your for forgiveness, never asked for you to live less
But tonight, my friend, Professor Snape you're wrong
I'm a very thoughtful man
Who will listen for a while to a mad conspiracy
Who likes to hunt for answers solving any crazy mystery
A thoughtful man am I, of calculating type
Who likes to meditate, contemplate
Even expostulate the latest hype
A very thought man
With listening to idle speech
I will do what I see right, start a riot, pick a fight
Cut the jabber and the chatter
And take everything that matters into reach
For letting justice come to you
This what I've anticipated
And I have to see it through
Professor Snape is right
Oh Professor Snape is right!
Kind boy…kind master…you won't let them do it…I was your rat…I was a good pet…!
What a rat you are, what a damned infernal rat
To think you were my earth and sky
Why, I slept with you, even you remember that
What an ugly little rat, you spy
Now my omnivoracious friend
You are to your last breath, this is the end
Oh no, I couldn't have k-killed the Potter's.
(Goes to Hermione) Sweet girl…clever girl…you - you won't let them….Harry….oh, Harry…you look just like your father…please
How dare you speak to Harry! How dare you face him!
How dare you talk about James in front of him!
Now it's high time you die Pettigrew
Haven't got any plea
It's your death that you see
If it's left up to me Pettigrew
Making me never sleep Pettigrew
I escaped Azkaban understand that my plan
Killing you -- I'm the man Pettigrew
I'll kill you Pettigrew!
You can find your Dark Lord Voldemort in Hell!
Not so true on this day Pettigrew
And without much ado, I can still murder you Pettigrew
You wouldn't! (Sirius lunges at him) Help!
Stop, Sirius!
(sung) Without your murder, Sirius Black is free
Without your murder, Harry finally can see
Without your murder, you've converted me
If he can do without you, Scabby, so can we!
We all know who's to blame Pettigrew
Finally we have a name Pettigrew
Murdered James -- Pettigrew
Murdered Voldemort too
Petti…
Why yes, I really did it, I did it, I did it,
Alright now I admit it, yes indeed I did
It's true that I did do it, I did, I did it
Betrayed the Potter family and succeed I did!
Harry, that's all the confession we need. Let's kill him! Be done with him!
He deserves it. He betrayed his friends, he killed your parents. You must understand.
No! No Sirius. You can't kill him. You can't.
We just need more time.
That's all the time you'll miss.
A few more minutes
Before they kiss the Kiss
Professor, I don't understand what you mean.
You've got to do this all in a few more minutes
Three turns should be good
We've got to be back before midnight!
Sirius Black has done no crime
Pull out the Turner
Be a fast learner
And get us to go back in time
We've got to rescue him by morning
Turn back his fortune on a dime
Start Black a-fleeing
With no one seeing
Oh, get us to go back in time!
But how, Hermione, we've got no chance
A losing battle fought in just a glance
Oh Harry, just listen to my story
All year I've used a charm sublime
Each class I've taken
Now don't be mistaken
Oh - I went back in time
You went back in time!
For God's sake, now let us both go back in time!
They've got rescue him by midnight
Upend the cosmos by its chime
Time has been stolen, so they'll get goin'
So get them to get back in time!
It's like they're flying into the past
For just a moment - may the moment last
For they've got rescue him by midnight
Work through the troubles and the grime
Things will get tricky
And very sticky
But get them to go back
There's no going back…
For God's sake, get them to go back in time!
Now let's get working on this warning
Who are we saving from their crime?
Black is not iffy
The Hippogriffy!
Thank God that we are back in time
We've got to save him yet by cunning
Wait until Fudge gets here, it's prime
Then we will steal him
Run and conceal him
Until we all get back on time
Look Fudge is coming with Dumbledore
And we are leaving through Hagrid's backdoor
Oh, we've got this moment now for saving
This is the time when we will shine!
HARRY (echoed):
This is the time when we will shine!
Now my announcement
Buckbeak's denouncement
This is now the time!
This is now the time!
Oh thank God that we got here right on time
Where is the creature?
Who is the sneetcher?
Now how has Buckbeak gone this time!
Look we can stop it
We have to drop it
Remember we are back in time
Oh 'ere I'm trying to sthlow them down
'nstead of dyin' Buckbeak's up an' gon'!
Now that it's clear we must get going
Help us stop Pettigrew -- that slime!
Let's go help Lupin
Don't be so stupid…
Maybe I'll reach them in time!
Now this is the time!
Now this is the time!
Why is my father not appearing? (ooo..ooo..oooh)
Where is the stag that brings the light? (ooo..ooo..oooh)
Sirius is dying
Dementors are flying.
Where is my Dad?
He's dead…that's right.
Saving my life and more.. oh I'm
Saving the future
So it will suit your
Reasons to go back
For God's sake that's why we went back in time!
Harry, this is incredible
HARRY (spoken)
Get on - there's not much time.
SIRIUS (spoken):
How can I ever thank you?
We'll see each other again. You are - truly your father's son, Harry…