DEATH EATER: Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Evita" Voldemortified, by SchmergoWeasley

ACT ONE
Requiem for Voldemort/Oh What A Circus
The Flashback Begins
Wizard England
Goodbye Forever
An Art Near Impossible
Surprisingly Hard To Do
Tom's Latest Face
A New Reign of Terror

ACT TWO
Don't Cry For Me, Former Teachers
Undying Dark Lord
Make Sure They Die
Let's Hear It For Lord Voldemort
The Dark Lord Only Laughs At Lies
And The Dark Lord Kept Showing Up
Faithful Death Eaters
Duel Between Harry and Voldemort
He Is A Phoenix
Heads Are Rolling
Voldemort's Final Battle
Montage
Lament

Copyright 2010 by SchmergoWeasley

1. Requiem for Voldemort/Oh What A Circus

To the tune of Requiem for Evita/Oh What A Circus

The last few skirmishes of battle are taking place outside Hogwarts, between a small, ragtag band of nameless Death Eaters and Order members..

DEATH EATERS:
Avada Kedavra!

ORDER:
Expelliarmus!

DEATH EATERS:
Avada Kedavra!

ORDER:
Expelliarmus!

DEATH EATERS:
Avada Kedavra
Avada Kedavra!
Death Eaters, Death Eaters, Death Eaters, Death Eaters!

They continue fighting as the spotlight comes up on the other side of the stage. A wizarding family is listening to the Wizarding Wireless. Suddenly, Kingsley Shacklebolt's voice comes over the radio, loud and clear.

KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT:
(spoken) It is my happy duty to inform you that Lord Voldemort, leader of the Death Eaters, met his mortality just after midnight this morning.

The family lets out loud cheers and embraces one another. All action freezes, as Harry Potter walks through the crowd to the front and everyone stops to look at him.

HARRY:
Oh what a circus, oh what a show!
Wizard England has gone to town
Over the death of a wizard called Lord Voldemort.
We've all gone crazy
Dancing all day and drinking all night
Falling over from joy and relief
That things turned out all right.

Oh what an exit - as death scenes go
Few dark wizards have been brought down
As quickly and simply as Lord Voldemort.
It's quite a story
"Good conquers evil," that's what it'll say
Across the front pages of the Daily Prophet today.

DAILY PROPHET REPORTERS:
And who is this savior, this Potter?
Why all this praise and hysterical cheering?
Is he a warrior or a martyr?
How can we ever thank Harry Potter?

HARRY:
He had his moments, he had great skill
The worst sights to see were the lights
From Dark Marks cast by the servants of Lord Voldemort.
But that's all gone now-
As soon as his pitiful funeral ends
We're all gonna see, and how
Voldemort had no friends!

A chorus of Death Eaters sings a mournful song listing all of Voldemort's followers and divides into three groups-the long dead, the recently killed, and the living who will soon be securely behind bars.

DEATH EATERS:
Bellatrix, Peter
Nott, Malfoy, Macnair, Amycus.
Fenrir, Alecto, Crabbe, Rodolphus
Yaxley, Snape, Goyle, Rookwood, Thorfinn Rowle.
Karkaroff, Quirrell, Gibbons, and Jugson, and Regulus Black
The living and all those long gone now
Our Master, who'll never come back.

HARRY:
You let down your followers, Riddle.
You were supposed to have been immortal.
That's all you wanted
Almost succeeded.
But in the end, Tom, you were defeated.

He turns on the remaining Death Eaters.

HARRY:
See, you fools, you were in the wrong!
Enjoy your sentence, 'cos it's gonna be long.
The Dark Lord's dead, his reign is through
He's not coming back to you!
Everyday's been a fight to survive
Since Voldemort's return in 1995
But the danger's gone, Lord Voldemort's died
That's a pretty big blow for the Death Eaters' side.
Instead of a Minister, we had a prop
Instead of protection, had violence nonstop.
Instead of help, things grew worse and worse
He didn't say much but the Killing Curse!

Who am I who dares to mock
The Dark Lord while the world's in shock?
Why this exception to the rule,
One more student at the school?
I'm just a man who's fought Lord Vold
From one to seventeen years old.
My whole life spent terrified-
He's not the only one who's died!

See, you fools, you were in the wrong!
Enjoy your sentence, 'cos it's gonna be long.
The Dark Lord's dead, his reign is through
He's not coming back to you!

DEATH EATERS:
Bellatrix, Peter
Nott, Malfoy, Macnair, Amycus.
Fenrir, Alecto, Crabbe, Rodolphus
Yaxley, Snape, Royle, Rookwood, Thorfinn Rowle.
Karkaroff, Quirrell, Gibbons, and Jugson, and Regulus Black
The living and all those long gone now
Our Master, who'll never come back.

VOLDEMORT:
Don't cry for me, my Death Eaters.
Your tears and blubbering are low, unsightly.
Only befitting the basest Mudbloods
Unless you all are-- perhaps you all are.
Stand straight and tall, my Death Eaters
And if it's your turn to die, then so be it.
Our cause was worthless, our days are over.
Not just your leader, but pureblood glory.
Share my defeat and come share my story.

DEATH EATERS:
It's our funeral, too!

2. The Flashback Begins

To the tune of On This Night of A Thousand Stars/ Eva Beware Of The City

HARRY:
Tom Riddle, it seemed, had every disadvantage
For someone who wants to succeed.
No money, no class, no parents, no training.
There was nothing he had but ambition and greed.
As this school professor found out… a school professor…
Mr. Albus Dumbledore.
Who has the distinction of being the first wizard introduced
To Tom Riddle Junior.

He plunges into the Pensieve, into Harry's memory of Dumbledore's first meeting with Riddle, beginning the flashback that lasts for the rest of the show.

DUMBLEDORE:
In this house, full of girls and boys
Ms. Cole took me to one child's door
No possessions, no books, no toys
Clean bare walls, bare floor.

And the glow of those loveless eyes
I'll recall 'till eternity
Every night for a million nights
Riddle haunting me.

I never dreamed a young boy
Could look so wild in his joy
Now I know one who can.
I used to turn a blind eye
But now I realize that I
Was such a foolish old man.
Still, I knew something was weird
And deep inside me, I feared
Something bad was in store
Since that horrible day
When he first came my way,
Voldemort.

In this house…

Child screams in pain in the distance.

In this house…

Another child screams in pain in the distance.

In this house filled with girls and boys
Ms. Cole took me to one child's door
One who dreamed up unseemly ploys
To live forever more!

TOM:
To think that a man as foolish as you are
Could try to dupe someone special like me.

DUMBLEDORE:
Now, please try to hear
I don't think you are mad.

TOM:
Listen, doc, face the fact
I know it's an act.

DUMBLEDORE:
But Hogwarts, my school
Is not a place for madmen.
It's for special people-like me.

TOM:
Then prove it, let me see.
The others don't believe me,
They call me a freak.

HARRY:
I understand their feelings…

Dumbledore sets the wardrobe on fire. Tom steps back, looking eerily, wildly happy.

TOM:
I'm gonna be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard-
Immortal!

DUMBLEDORE:
He wants to be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard-
Immortal?

HARRY:
Just listen to that
He's onto you now, Riddle.
I'd quit now while you're ahead.

TOM:
It's happened at last
I knew that I was better
It's just as Dumbledore said.

DUMBLEDORE:
Now, thievery cannot be condoned-

TOM:
Goodbye at long last
And don't expect a letter
I think I'd rather die
Then come back to this sty.
I'll go to London-alone.

HARRY:
What's that? Turning loose Lord Voldemort?

DUMBLEDORE:
Lord Voldemort?
How was I to know what he'd become?

MS. COLE:
He really frightens all the other boys and girls here
He steals all that they have
And yet they never catch him.
You must be quite relieved he hasn't tried to hurt you-
So far.

TOM:
I'm gonna be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard
Immortal!
All I have planned
All I've done
Is because I know
Is because I need
To become immortal.

HARRY:
Seems to me there's no point in denying
He's shown his true colours by now.
Why don't you be the one who first confronted him?
Or duel the brat before he's found out how?

DUMBLEDORE:
Yes, powers can be wonderful
For those with self-control.
The sense and practicality
To drop a fruitless goal.
The likes of you get swept up
By a dream of beating death
Or reigning over Muggles or-

TOM:
I hate the Muggle classes
I will never forgive them
And they will never deny me anything again!
My father's other family are Muggles and
They don't care about me
Or know I exist-
That's their funeral.
If these are the people I've left behind me
I welcome the chance to be their superior.

HARRY:
Do all the Slytherins give you this trouble?

DUMBLEDORE:
Riddle, beware of your powers
They're strong and untrained
Can't be restrained
Listen, lad.
Those who are fools grow cocky too soon
And those who are not
Become what they should not
Grow corrupt, in short they go bad.

TOM:
Bad is good for me
I'm bored, unchallenged and ignored
I've hardly frightened anyone-
A bit of fun.
You set things on fire
So why, oh why, oh why can't I just try?
I'd like to see this poorhouse burn
Maybe then they'd learn.
I'm gonna be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard-
Immortal.
I'm gonna be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard-
Immortal.

HARRY:
Five years from now, when he comes back
He'll wear a black ring
And mention something about souls.
And there will be eerie red glints in his eyes.
He'll carry a diary
A magical diary
And be too polite to Ms. Cole.

TOM:
All you've told to me
Is any young boy's fantasy.
I've listened long enough, all right?
Sir, goodnight.
I already know my dreams
You can't put limits on my plans and schemes
Or I'll put up a fight.
Sir, goodnight.
I'm gonna be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard-
Immortal.

DUMBLEDORE:
He wants to be a
Sight to see, a
Famous wizard-
Immortal?

Riddle, beware your ambition.
It's hungry and cold
Can't be controlled
Will run wild.
This in a wizard is danger enough
But you're just a first year
Not even a first year
You haven't begun yet, my child
And whatever you say
I'll remember this day.

3. Wizard England

To the tune of Buenos Aires

Tom enters Diagon Alley and delighted with what he sees.

TOM:
What's new, wizard England?
I'm new, I've gotta say
I'm gonna put my spin on you
By the time I'm through.
I'm myself here, wizard England.
Stand back!
You wanna know what you're gonna get in me?
Just the vanquisher of mortality.

Fill me up with your spells, with your potions, your customs, ensnare me.
Let me know you too well, let me under your skin, but beware me!
All I need is a world to call my own
Tell Ms. Cole that Riddle's relocated.

Hello, wizard England
Look here
And see the face that someday you'll all know Whether friend or foe.

Take me in, bring me close, tell me secrets that I'll hold forever.
Sweetest sin, darkest fantasies, twisted dreams, never say never.
When my name's carved forever into stone
It's not for a gravestone that it's fated.

Stand back, wizard England
Because you wanna know what you're gonna get in me
Just a power-hungry warlord-to-be.

And if ever I go too far
And give some kid a lightning scar
Bringing me down
I'll take my chances.
And I won't take a moment's rest.
I'll show Dumbledore just who's best
I'll own that clown with violence.

HARRY (Spoken):
On the Ninth February 1938, a Quidditch match between the leading British players and the touring Bulgarian side. The Minister of Magic said he had never seen a social occasion quite like it. Even by the standards of wizarding society, the gathering at the Quidditch pitch glittered. The robes and the tents, the hampers from Honeydukes, the cloaks, the diamonds, the fireworks, the Firewhisky, the procession of Veela from Bulgaria. The result of the match-the Bulgarians won. But as the Minister of Magic pointed out, that did not reflect badly on English sportsmanship. Three of the players were educated at Hogwarts!

TOM:
I am great, you are weak, I will rise, you will fall, so don't bother.
I am Slytherin flesh and blood, nothing like my worthless father.
I will make it, and I'll make it there alone
Even if it means that I'll be hated.
Ollivander's wand shop
Gringott's bank
Madame Malkin's and more-I already know
Where I want to go.

Stand back, wizard England
Because you wanna know what you're gonna get in me.
Just the vanquisher of
Just the vanquisher
The only vanquisher of mortality!

4. Goodbye Forever

To the tune of Good Night and Thank You

TOM:
Goodbye forever, Tom Riddle.
Once you left me for dead
But I'll kill you instead, and right now.
Please do calm down and stop carrying on
Let fate take its course
Lest you show some remorse
But I don't think that's likely somehow..

Oh, but it's sad when a lad's father dies
The last heartfelt final goodbye.
But you and my mother lived just for yourselves
Which means you die.

HARRY AND TOM:
There is no one, no one at all
Never has been and never will be a leader
For the dark side
Who conquers the nations
By sparing relations
From castigations and torture.

TOM:
I won't hope for change
From a father estranged
When I'm reaching for glory
So he dies-what a shame.

He approaches his grandparents

TOM:
Goodbye forever, whoever.
I don't mean to be so mean
But now I've been seen, there's no choice.
I don't like to rush, but my schedule is tight
And suffice it to say
You'd both be in my way.
Stop this crying and lower your voice!

Oh, but it's sad when your grandparents die
But you both deserved what you got.
I'm sure you regret the bad choices you made…

HARRY:
But Riddle will not!

HARRY, TOM AND RECENTLY MURDERED PEOPLE:
There is no one, no one at all
Never has been and never will be a leader
For the dark side
Who hasn't a penchant
For bloodthirsty vengeance
Against every sentient observer.
They fear that survivors will hurt them, support them
Attack them, extort them

TOM:
So they die-what a shame.

TOM:
Goodbye forever Miss Smith, dear.
I'm so grateful you found
Things that I've looked around for
For years.
I'll think of you every time I escape death
You have so much to give
But you simply can't live
Goodbye now, there's no time for tears.

Oh, but it's sad when a dear old friend dies
It's really a rough way to go.
But you have too many fine things to survive
So drink this cocoa.

MUGGLE POLICE:
Oh this is quite
A befuddling sight.
Who killed these people and how?
Up until now, the police called the shots-
Someone has bested us now!

TOM:
Fame and achievement are fine as it goes
But all good things must end, as everyone knows.
I need a trick that can keep me alive
A foolproof procedure to see I survive.

ALL:
Ohhh, but it's sad when another one dies!

5. An Art Near Impossible

To the tune of The Art of the Possible

TOM:
Are there no rules for this device?
I've scoured each book, and read some twice.
Some help would be nice
Horcruxes-an art near impossible.

One picks an object close to heart
One simply splits his soul apart.
But how does one start
In practicing this art near impossible?

SLUGHORN:
I'm only a Potions Professor who's brooked status quo
By knowing the right sort of people a man ought to know.
But confidentially
You're potentially
One who'll gain fame
Exponentially
And hopefully Minister within the next twenty years.

TOM:
Slughorn believes the weakest claims
From promising and shining names.
He'll play my risky games
He'll know about this art near impossible.

Are there no rules for this device?
I've scoured each book, and read some twice.
Slughorn must have advice
On Horcruxes, an art near impossible.

6. Surprisingly Hard To Do

To the tune of I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You

SLUGHORN:
On this night…

HARRY:
Horace Slughorn's office, Hogwarts, January 22, 1942!

SLUGHORN:
On this night…

HARRY:
A meeting, honoring the best and brightest students Hogwarts had to offer.

SLUGHORN:
On this night full of future stars
All with brilliant careers in store
I've no doubt that you'll all go far
Just like Dumbledore!

HARRY:
Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the hour!

Tom enters

TOM:
His act hasn't changed much…

HARRY:
Neither has yours…

CROWDS:
Slughorn! Slughorn! Slughorn! Slughorn!

SLUGHORN:
Tonight, I'm proud to be your Potions Master
You've given hope to me, for I must own
That most of you have conclusively shown
That the next generation will thrive on its own
And we'll be in the best of hands, no problem.

ALL:
Slughorn! Slughorn! Slughorn! Slughorn!

SLUGHORN:
Ah, Tom, m'boy!

TOM:
Professor Slughorn.

BOTH:
I've just been thinking of you.

TOM:
I'm surprised, for I'm only a student
Nothing to boast about, just one more boy here at school.
But when you teach, the things you say enchant us all.

SLUGHORN:
But when you speak
I have simply no doubt that you'll sparkle in the real world.

TOM:
Are you staying up late?

SLUGHORN:
Yes.

TOM:
So am I-what a fortunate coincidence.
Maybe you can assist with my efforts here tonight.

It seems crazy, but you must believe
There's nothing calculated, nothing planned.
Don't assume that I wish to deceive
I was flipping through a book that's banned
And did not understand, so I came to you.

I don't always rush in like this
Asking questions at this late time of night
But there's something that I seemed to miss-
What are Horcruxes? For, if I'm right,
It seems making one's quite dangerous to do.
I wasn't sure, so I came to you.

I won't go on if I'm scaring you
But don't you understand my point of view?
Shouldn't I get to hear?
Get to see?
Don't you trust me?

SLUGHORN:
It's hard to do.
We're not speaking of a simply spell
An incantation that we all know well.
Splitting souls is not a magic trick
Just thought of it makes me feel sick
The process is quick
But it's hard to do.
It is surprisingly hard to do.

There is a music break in the real song, but I have inserted my own additional verse here.

SLUGHORN:
Split your soul and put the bits in things.

TOM:
Simple objects-books and cups and rings?

SLUGHORN:
Yes, and then you can no longer die-
Though it's not something that you'd care to try
Between you and I
It is hard to do.
It is surprisingly bad for you.

Back to the previously scheduled song…

TOM:
Please go on
You enthrall me!
I can understand you perfectly
And I like what I hear
What I see
And knowing me…
This should be easy to do.

SLUGHORN:
I'm not talking of a simple hex
For killing turns men's souls to shattered wrecks.
This can only be repaired, of course
If the murderer feels deep remorse
A powerful force
But it's hard to do.
It is surprisingly to do.

TOM AND HARRY:
There is no one, no one at all
Never has been and never will be a leader
For the dark side
Who hasn't their eye on
In fact, they rely on
Tricks they can try on for power!
They're hoping their Horcruxes help them, protect them
Defend them, perfect them
Don't blame them, you're the same.

7. Tom's Latest Face

To the tune of Peron's Latest Flame

HARRY:
At the watering holes
Of professors herev I detect both disgust and fear

PROFESSORS:
Precisely!

HARRY:
Of Tom's latest face.

PROFESSORS:
We're glad you noticed!

HARRY:
Out of hissssss graduating class

PROFESSORS:
It's truly sick!

HARRY:
No one else managed to surpass

PROFESSORS:
It's truly vile!

HARRY:
His abrupt fall from grace.

PROFESSORS:
Such a shame he stumbled into such deep trouble
How unfortunate that Riddle has pulled this crazy stunt.
No, we didn't mind having him at Hogwarts
But behind the desk, not teaching up in front!

HARRY:
Could there be among his new friends
A marked indifference

DEATH EATERS:
Excuse me?

HARRY:
Toward Tom's latest face?

DEATH EATERS:
What are you saying?

HARRY:
Should you wish to cause quite a din
In Three Broomsticks or Hogs Head Inn
Show them this disgrace!

He holds up a picture of Voldemort

WIZARDS IN PUB:
No way that's Riddle!
That man is a fool, breaking every taboo
He's bald with red eyes, split his soul clean in two
Lost his nose, pale as coleslaw.
His only good traits were his looks 'till now
And then wham, he's deformed, and nobody knows how
A face Munch would love to draw.

The evidence suggests
He has Dark Arts interests
Those who don't steer clear of him
Are exceptionally dim.
Git!
Dangerous games!

PROFESSORS:
We thought that he'd go far-instead
Look what he's done to his poor head?
He has declined to an all-time low
Face like a snake, and pale as snow.

BORGIN AND BURKE:
It's all right for wizards to dabble a bit
As long as they're not harming Muggles with it.
Normally we disregard
A bit of experiments done on the side-
But he's gone too far, and his brain must be fried.
We should all be on our guard.

He should get into his head
People's eyes should not be red!
He should know that he's not paid
To make customers afraid.
Freak!
Dangerous games.

DAILY PROPHET REPORTER:
This has really been your year, Mr. Riddle
Tell us where you go from here, Mr. Riddle?
Do you have something you wish to say?
Whom did you steal… buy from yesterday?

VOLDEMORT:
Is that the extent of your interest in me?
This shows how pointless sales work must be.

DAILY PROPHET REPORTER:
Can we assume then that you'll quit?
Is this because of your association with your Death Eater friends?

DEATH EATERS (Killing him):
Goodbye forever!

WIZARDS IN PUB, PROFESSORS, BORGIN, AND BURKES:
He won't be kept happy with his work in the store
He says it's a great job, but he's after more.
He's a menace, wait and see.
He should get into his head
People's eyes should not be red
He should know that he's not paid
To make customers afraid.
The evidence suggests
He has Dark Arts interests
Those who don't steer clear of him
Are exceptionally dim.

PROFESSORS:
Things have reached a dire strait
When someone in his wretched state
Comes in expecting to be hired
Thinks he's accepted and admired.

8. A New Reign of Terror

To the tune of A New Argentina

VOLDEMORT:
Heads are rolling
All wands are out
Would-be-vanquishers are all about
I don't say they're a threat
But I mustn't forget
Their presence might eclipse my clout.

BELLATRIX:
It doesn't matter what those Mudbloods say.
Dumbledore's people are a feeble crew.
There aren't many of them anyway
What can they attempt that we can't do.
They'll never get you.

VOLDEMORT:
All we have to do is sit and wait.
Plot and conspire 'till it's time to rise.
I'll-we'll-slowly fill the world with fear and hate
Pick the perfect spot to terrorize
And the chaos will start.
Then comes the victory, my favorite part!

RODOLPHUS:
Then again, we could be foolish not to quit while we're ahead.
For infamy means rivals, and that is why
All the world's greatest dark wizards are defeated, largely dead.
Anonymity means we may not have to die.

VOLDEMORT:
This is crazy defeatist talk!
Why equate ambition with suicide?
There's no risk, there's no call
For being cautious at all
With all that Horcruxes provide.

EERIE, DISEMBODIED VOIES:
The book-the cup-the ring-the chain-the crown-one more…

VOLDEMORT:
A new reign of terror
A new wave of mass homicide.
A new reign of terror
The Mudbloods and Muggles
Will be terrified!

DEATH EATERS:
There is only one man who can lead this new fascist regime.
He looks like a monster fresh out of your scariest dream!
He will kill you
He will find you
I think that's him right behind you!

MUGGLEBORNS:
It's not fair, he's after me!

DEATH EATERS:
A new reign of terror
All dissenters stand aside.
A new reign of terror
"Avada Kedavra!"
Rings from every side.

VOLDEMORT:
Now, I am a half-blood
I hate to admit, but it's true.
I've starved, been oppressed, and alone
And I hated it, too.
But I've found total power
And my former foes all cower
Let them bow down, surrender to me.

A new reign of terror
A new age about to begin.
A new reign of terror
A new power struggle
And no one doubts I'll win!

VARIOUS INDIVIDUAL DEATH EATERS:
Total destruction of the businesses that the Mudblood scum control
More ethnic cleansing in the Ministry of Magic.
Fewer werewolves
Legal murder
Taking Hogwarts Better robes!
More public slaughter
More influence

DUMBLEDORE:
This is tragic!

VOLDEMORT:
It's annoying that our actions
Are against those pesky laws.
The inconvenience, having to do things discreetly.
When we take over the Ministry in the name of our cause
We can do everything in the open completely.

DEATH EATERS:
We have ways of making you side with us
Or else, we'll blow out your brains!

VOLDEMORT:
Now Dumbledore's building an army, and it seems quite clear
He foolishly thinks that he's somebody we ought to fear!
He will fight us
He won't beat us
He thinks he can defeat us!
Let them try to overthrow me.

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:
A new reign of terror
Come join in and fight the dark side.
A new reign of terror
The fate of our people
Must not be
And will not be
Cannot be pushed aside!

RODOLPHUS:
Then again, we could be foolish
Not to quit while we're ahead.
I can see us many miles away in Azkaban.
Nonstop screaming, constant nightmares, going wrong in the head.
Like what happened with Grindelwald-just ask the man.

VOLDEMORT:
Don't think I'm afraid like you
That's why it's me who's You-Know-Who
And you're the one who's following.
Sometimes it's very difficult to keep my temper
With your gloomy wallowing.
But would I have done what I did
If I hadn't thought
If I hadn't known
We would take the country?

Don't trust me?
Then you must be
Doubtful that I'll
Be immortal.

DEATH EATERS:
A new reign of terror
A new wave of mass homicide.
A new reign of terror
For Mudbloods and Muggles
We cannot stop
We will not stop
Until they all have died!

ACT TWO

1. Don't Cry For Me, Former Teachers

To the tune of Don't Cry For Me, Argentina

HARRY:
People of England
Your newly world-famous Dark Lord
Voldemort!

PROFESSORS' VOICES:
Riddle, Riddle, Riddle…

DUMBLEDORE (Above the chanting):
Hogwarts teachers, Hogwarts teachers, we are all guilty now. Having ignored our common enemy during his years here at Hogwarts rather than attempting to confront him then, we have let him maul his soul, lost our trustworthiness, our dignity, our pride. Let the world know that our great school is aware now that the heart beating in the twisted body of Lord Voldemort is a former student of Hogwarts, known as Tom Marvolo Riddle.

TEACHERS:
Riddle, Riddle, Riddle…

VOLDEMORT:
As a mere observer of this shocking phenomenon
I have to admire their brutal candor.
Then again, perhaps I'm more than a mere observer-
These are my professors, gentlemen!

DEATH EATERS:
Dark Lord, Dark Lord, Dark Lord…

VOLDEMORT (Spoken):
Look, if I showed up there now, they'd run screaming in fear!

DEATH EATERS:
Dark Lord, Dark Lord, Dark Lord

TEACHERS:
Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle!

VOLDEMORT:
It makes me queasy
It's all so strange
Looking back at the places I've left
Where they still speak of me, after all that I've done.
But why can't they see
I'm still the same as
The boy I once was?
Though his face and his name are long gone
As evil is what evil does.

I had to let it happen
I had to change
Couldn't trap myself inside a name
That belonged to a Muggle
Keep a face that was his.
So I chose my way.
Starting afresh, being somebody new
But I don't feel different at all
As much as I expected to.

Don't cry for me, former teachers
What I did, I always mean to.
All through my school days
Since I was little
Lord Voldemort was a part of Riddle.

And as for power and as for fame
I wanted them right from the start
Now I've won them, but still feel as empty inside.
They are illusions
They are not the solutions I thought they would be
And somehow I've known all the time
I hate Mudbloods
Because I hate me.

Don't cry for me, former teachers…

DEATH EATERS:
Mmmmmmm….

VOLDEMORT:
Don't cry for me, former teahers!
What I did, I always meant to.
All through my school days
Although I hid it
I planned out all this before I did it.

Have I said too much?
There's so much more I can't say to you.
But is it such a danger for you to know
I'm still Tom through and through?

He walks out into a crowd full of Death Eaters, and they are all cheering for him. A new Dark Mark is shining in the sky.

VOLDEMORT:
Just listen to that, the voice of my Death Eaters
Serving the Lord that they love!
But why do I want more than what I have accomplished?
What could be more than that?

DEATH EATERS:
Our Lord Voldemort
Our Master and protector
Our Lord Voldemort
Our guide and inspiration
Our Lord Voldemort
Our cleanser, purifier.

Repeated several times, faster and faster.

VOLDEMORT (spoken):
I was only a simple orphan boy who lived to improve my condition, and I rose through destroying the Muggle population. I was once as low as they are now. I have taken their lives and their riches for us, for all Purebloods, to prove our superiority. Fellow Death Eaters, when you cast that Dark Mark in the sky above the homes of your victims, it is not just for them, but for all of us-for all Death Eaters!

HARRY begins clapping slowly and sarcastically to a background of total silence.

HARRY:
Things have reached a dire strait
When one so awful can be great
Comes near to taking on the world…

VOLDEMORT:
Their despicable class is dead!
Look who they're running from now!

2. Undying Dark Lord

To the tune of High-Flying Adored

HARRY:
Undying Dark Lord
He's like a cross between
An all-powerful king
Gollum, Ralph Fiennes, Chancellor Palpatine
A skeleton, Michael Crawford, and a snake.
He was just an orphan boy
Helpless and little
Poor young Tom Riddle.

Undying Dark Lord
Did you believe, in your days at Hogwarts
All this would be yours
That you'd become the dictator of all?

Did you set your sights high
Back at the orphanage?
Through the bars on your window
Looking out at the world you'd steal?
Don't look down, it's a long, long way to fall.

Undying Dark Lord
What happens now? Where do you go from here?
You've taken the wizarding world
And filled it with hate and fear
You're on your way to Horcrux number six.
There are no challenges now
Nothing can thrill you
Now that they can't kill you.

Undying Dark Lord
Get used to years and years of boredom
Now you'll never die
What will you do for all eternity?

There's nowhere you can conquer
Once the world is yours.
You don't care if they hate you
You can kill any enemy.
Anyone who'd made it would agree.

VOLDEMORT:
Undying Dark Lord
I've been called names, but that's my favorite.
My story's unusual
Orphan boy makes good and wins it all.
I did everything right at the perfect time.
Took a risk, I succeeded.
But one thing I still don't see
Why is it that I still feel so small?

3. Make Sure They Die

To the tune of Rainbow High

VOLDEMORT:
I don't think I really need
To worry that he might succeed.
But let's get started.
Let's get this show on the road
Let's make it obvious
That I can't be defeated.

VOICES:
Cup, snake, book, locket
Ring, crown, Death Eaters
Strength, magic, fame, power
Fate, talent, ambition.

VOLDEMORT:
I know that the people
All fear and abhor me
It's starting to bore me
Because everyone knows
That Potter can't beat me
But let's just make sure they die.
The people need closure
And so do I.

VOICES:
Cup, snake, book, locket
Ring, crown, Death Eaters
Strength, magic, fame, power
Fate, talent, ambition.

VOLDEMORT:
I'm the Dark Lord
It's vital I do it
Since once his life's through, it
Most conclusively shows
That Potter's no danger.
I want to make sure they die.
They must know their place
And so do I.

VOICES:
Cup, snake, book, locket
Ring, crown, Death Eaters
Strength, magic, fame, power
Fate, talent, ambition.

VOLDEMORT:
All my loyal Death Eaters
Expect me to conquer the enemy.
Forget the Prophecy-
I won't disappoint them.

I'm the greatest
A world-famous 'bad one'-
If I only had one
I would follow my nose
To murder the Potters.
I have to make sure they die.
And prove my dark powers.

I'm not letting fear and suspicion and doubt bring me down
But I won't allow Harry Potter to vie for my crown.
Next stop-Godric's Hollow
The Dark Lord's gonna destroy young Potter tonight
He's too young to fight.
Look out, Harry Potter.
Stand back-I'll prove that I am everything I planned to be.
Just the vanquisher
The only vanquisher
Almighty vanquisher of mortality.

4. Let's Hear It For Lord Voldemort

To the tune of The Rainbow Tour

HARRY:
People of Europe
I give you the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters.

DAILY PROPHET REPORTERS:
Spain has fallen to the hordes of Death Eaters.
They can do what they like, the locals can't do much.
He's the new Grindelwald, he's got a deadly touch.
He's killed almost a thousand would-be defeaters.
But when you're scarier than Snape on a Monday, that's not hard.

Dark Lord's reign in Spain should see out the nineties.
And probably into the new millennium.
And no one dares challenge him-no one's that dumb.
But more important, seems the man's latest thought is
That finishing off Potter would be his trump card.

DEATH EATERS:
Let's hear it for Lord Voldemort
He's been an incredible success.
We weren't quite sure
He'd take it at first
Can he conquer the world?
And the answer is yes!

VOLDEMORT:
Goodbye Spain, I told you so
Makes no difference where you go.
The whole world's really just the same
They're all afraid to speak my name.
And who would underestimate Tom Riddle now?

RODOLPHUS:
I'm not underestimating you
Just do the same at the Ministry, too!

DAILY PROPHET:
Now thanks to You-Know-Why, we have a new story.
Read the news and you'll see things are not so good
Took on the Ministry like he said he would.
Now there's not much to do but bask in his glory-
But Hogwarts will not surrender-no surprise.

VOLDEMORT:
Did you hear that?
He just called me Tom.
He actually dared call me Tom!

DUMBLEDORE:
Apologies, Tom
But old habits die hard.
My old friends still call me 'Red'
Though my hair turned to white long ago.

VOLDEMORT:
Things aren't all that bad, the Ministry's mine.
I have authority to wipe out any Mudblood scum.

DEATH EATERS:
So though Dumbledore knocked him flat on his bum…

VOLDEMORT AND DEATH EATERS:
The path to worldwide domination's still looking fine!

BELLATRIX:
He's changed things so Purebloods are always first in line!

DEATH EATERS:
Let's hear it for Lord Voldemort
He's been an incredible success.
We weren't quite sure
He'd take it at first
Can he conquer the world?
And the answer is… a qualified yes!

DAILY PROPHET REPORTERS:
The Dark Lord started well in Germany, too.
Gliding like a snake through the violent frays
Reminding them of Grindelwald in former days.
He nearly captured them too, but didn't go through
He suddenly left without reason… he looked bored.

DEATH EATERS:
What? Bored? Our Dark Lord?

VOLDEMORT:
Face the facts, my energy's starting to wane.
I don't think we'll make it to Russia now
It wasn't on the schedule anyhow.
Why take on foreign flags when Potter's not slain?
I can take Germany later.

DEATH EATERS:
Yes, my Lord.

DEATH EATERS:
Let's hear it for Lord Voldemort
He's been an incredible success.
We weren't quite sure
He'd take it at first
Can he conquer the world?
And the answer is yes!
And no! And yes! And no!
And yes… and no…
Let's hear it for Lord Voldemort
He's been an incredible success…

They are cut off as Voldemort storms up the stairs of the Potter house.

VOLDEMORT:
Just who does that Lily Potter think she is?
Offering her life just to spare his?
What kind of twisted logic is that?
My Death Eaters expect me to kill off Harry Potter.
If Lily would give up her life
Then I'll kill her first and then murder Harry.

5. The Dark Lord Only Laughs At Lies

To the tune of The Actress Hasn't Learned the Lines

DAILY PROPHET:
Thus his reign of terror ends.
Just as the Prophecy portends.
And Harry Potter still lives today.
How did he drive the Dark Lord away?
My, how the tide begins to turn
Why don't these Dark Wizards ever learn?
My, how the tide begins to turn
Why don't these Dark Wizards ever learn?

VOLDEMORT'S SPIRIT:
This dark wizard only laughs at lies the Prophet spreads
And he cannot he easily and immediately defeated
By fighting a wizard just strong enough to end his infamy.
He won't back down and relinquish all of his authority over Death Eaters.
Even if they asked me to leave
As they should have asked me to leave.
The Dark Lord only laughs at lies The Prophet spreads.
He's not dead and gone
He won't give up at all.
HE won't let the Mudbloods gain control within the hour
He'll soon return to power and turn some heads.

HARRY:
Forgive my intrusion, but Voldemort, since your defeat
The status quo's changed, we've moved on, you've become obsolete.
I hate to be tactless, I really don't mean to be snide
But do you still have any Death Eaters left by your side?

VOLDEMORT:
Everything done will be rectified come resurrection!

6. And The Dark Lord Kept Showing Up

To the tune of And The Money Kept Rolling In

HARRY:
And the Dark Lord kept showing up from every side.
Voldy's right-hand men searched far and they searched wide
Now you may feel they should have just assumed that he had died
But nothing's that simple, friends.
And when Voldemort shows back up, you don't ask why
He decided to attach his essence to some guy.
Voldemort called Quirrell to him
Snuck into Hogwarts
Never been a servant as faithful as Lord Voldemort's!

HOGWARTS STUDENTS:
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy,
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy.
Showing on up, showing on up, showing on up, on up…

HARRY:
Anyone who's had a Hogwarts education
Has heard rumors that there's a monster in hibernation.
Voldy and his evil schemes proved all those legends true.
Here's all he had to do, my friends-
Put a piece of his soul in a diary or book or journal
So his memory will stay preserved for time eternal.
Then possess a first year to do all he wants to do.
Name me anyone who perseveres like Lord Voldemort!

HOGWARTS STUDENTS:
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy,
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy.
Showing on up, showing on up, showing on up, on up…

HARRY:
And the Dark Lord kept showing up from all directions
At the Triwizard Cup, using old Ministry connections.
Now cynics claimed it wasn't him, he'd really gone away
But that's where they're wrong, my friends.
And the Dark Lord kept showing up, all seven books.
Leaving all of the world in suspense, on tenterhooks.

VOLDEMORT:
But Potter always slows things down
Always gets in the way!

HARRY:
Never been a time I didn't outsmart Lord Voldemort!

HOGWARTS STUDENTS:
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy,
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy.
Showing on up, showing on up, showing on up, on up…

HARRY:
When the Dark Lord keeps showing up, what's a guy to do
When he's been my enemy since before the age of two?
But how on earth can I defeat a soul split into seven?
Thank God for Dumbledore.
He's the man with experience and brains enough to lead him
To conclusions about Dumbledore that might defeat him.
I've been fighting Voldemort since I was just eleven
Never been a soul invincible as Lord Voldemort's!

HOGWARTS STUDENTS:
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy,
Voldy Voldy Voldy, Voldy Voldy Voldy.
Showing on up, showing on up, showing on up, on up…

7. Faithful Death Eaters

To the tune of Santa Evita

VOLDEMORT:
Faithful Death Eaters,
Why can't I destroy this child?
For I know that the Potter boy's no match for me.
But when I fight him, the boy always seems to get free.

Faithful Death Eaters
Will you do a service for your lord?
Help your master
Do it faster
Tell me anything you might know about the lad
And if you don't, I'll be extremely mad.

SNAPE:
Master, it seems that
You and he possess twin wands.
And the love that his mother left him when she died
Continues protecting her son even though she's gone.

BELLATRIX:
Kill him while he's young, Master, kill him while he's long!

VOLDEMORT:
Faithful, faithful Death Eaters
Give up your wands for your Master
We're going to kill Potter, we're going to kill Potter.
We can't remain as equals
Or there might be more sequels!

DEATH EATERS:
Faithful, faithful Death Eaters
Give up your wands for your Master
We're going to kill Potter, we're going to kill Potter.
They can't remain as equals
Or there might be more sequels!

VOLDEMORT (twirling Lucius' wand absentmindedly):
Why use this… when I can have the Elder Wand?

8. Duel Between Harry and Voldemort

To the tune of Waltz for Eva and Che

VOLDEMORT:
Tell me before I end your sorry life
Before squashing the Order like ants
Forgive my inquisitive nature
But how could you think that you even stand a chance?
Tell me before I fly off in the sunset There's one thing I never got clear.
How can you think you're some savior
When those who fight with you are murdered or injured
Or simply disappear?

HARRY:
Tell me before you're defeated at last
Before joining all the people you've killed
How can one person like me save
All of them when each day there's so much blood spilled?
Tell me before we start dueling again, Tom
Just what you're so eager to do?
If you kill me at last then, Riddle
What are you planning to gain?
What will change for your Death Eaters
When you've made certain that my life is through?

BOTH:
There is evil
Ever around, infiltrating
Hogwarts-the Ministry participating.

VOLDEMORT:
The truth is, there's barely
A chance I'd win fairly
I'd say none.
Better to thrive
With a Horcrux or five
Then to lose
When the fight's done.

HARRY:
Tell me before you try killing me this time
To let off sixteen years of steam
How can you be so short-sighted
To look never further than plotting to kill me
To have no big, grand evil scheme?

VOLDEMORT:
Allow me to help you rejoin your dear parents
Confirming your friends' deepest fears.
But first, isn't it quite apparent
That first I must tackle immediate problems?
I have to kill you first
That's what I must do first
Even if you live for one hundred years.

BOTH:
There is evil
Ever around, infiltrating
Hogwarts-the Ministry partipating.

VOLDEMORT:
And once you have gone
To the great world beyond
I will stay here
Whipping up hate
Proving I'm truly great.
Now you'll die, boy
Don't ask why, boy!

HARRY:
Oh… what I'd give for a hundred years
But the prophecy interferes.
And now I see… he has to kill me.
Why did my mum die to save my life
If I lived to be sacrificed?
That's how it must be, though, and I know that.

9. He Is A Phoenix

To the tune of She Is A Diamond

DEATH EATERS:
It's all over now, the Dark Lord has won
And we're basking in the glow of a brand new sun.
We got our ending, they got theirs.
And now Potter's gone, there's no chance our Lord
Can be brought to defeat-that's our greatest reward.
No more panics, no more scares.
They will never bring us down!
You-Know-Who controls this town!
He'll assume the highest post
Now that Potter boy is toast!

VOLDEMORT:
(spoken) What's new, wizard England! Your nation, which three years ago was being run by Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers, is mine now! A country that grew up and grew weak from teeming communities of Muggles is eliminating them. The Quibbler, one of the few newspapers that dares oppose me, has been silenced, and so have all other dissenting voices! I'll tell you what's new, wizard England!

BELLATRIX:
And on the darker side, he's all we have.
A fiery Phoenix in our dull grey skies
And that's the rarest kind of bird
Because it never dies
And if you think about it, can you recall
The last time they feared anyone at all?

He's not another kook in Azkaban.
He's been out doing what most just dream about
Example-reclaimed our Ministry
Kicked the Mudbloods out.
And when you think about it, would we have tried
To do what he did without him on our side?

But on the other hand, there's something wrong.
He's lost a little of that magic drive.
But I would not advise anybody to arrive
At the false conclusion that he's growing weak.
He's the one who's kept us at our peak.

DEATH EATERS:
We're the ones who kept him at his peak…

10. Heads Are Rolling

To the tune of Dice Are Rolling

HARRY:
Heads are rolling
All wands are out
I don't need more friends to die in this book
And as far as I see
Without my glasses with me
It's not a positive outlook.

Into the almost tuneless, non-rhyming, recitative section of the song…

But I still have the magic I've always had
Protection my mother gave to me.
I'm alive thanks to her and no one else.
No thanks to defensive skills
As much as I practiced.

It's not a question of raw skill alone.
That, I can't beat
And besides, he would cheat.
I have the Hallows-my Hallows-
No, Hallows belong to no one.
They are fickle, can be manipulated.
They don't matter-what matters is, they love me.
Yes, it matters more that my friends still love me
Though they're all convinced that I am no longer alive.

If I'm not alive
If they don't know I'm living
They should give up, but they won't.
And all over the school, they haven't stopped fighting.
Some of them so mauled
They wouldn't be recognized by their own mothers.
But they'll soon know I'm alive
When I confront Lord Voldemort.
I must try
To finally stop Voldemort.
I'll fight him tooth and nail
Though I'd never overcome him with my strongest magic
I'll find another way.

Back into the rhyming part of the song.

His little schemes are slowly breaking down.
Most of his soul is gone, has been destroyed.
He can't go flourishing forever
And he can't avoid
Meeting up with me again, like duels past.
But this time, we're both mortal-
It could be his last.

He's not that strong.
Dark wizards never succeed
Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it takes a bit longer.
But that doesn't mean
That at age seventeen
I can waltz on the scene and defeat him.
I can't forget
Others tried, and yet
He's still standing.
But if I am weak
That can even be to my advantage.

(Spoken) And if not, at least I already know what it's like dying… This talk of death is chilling. Of course I'm not going to die.

(Sung) Then I must defeat Lord Voldemort
And he will have what's been long overdue
Two twin cores
The trump card he ignores.
And now I know what it is I have to do.
Emptying my last reserves
Of strength, girding my soul
To meet my goal.
Knowing what I am risking
Give my all.
And now, it's time to meet Lord Voldemort…

He stands and walks into the Great Hall, hidden by the Invisibility Cloak.

So what happens now?
So what happens now?
Where am I going to?
Who knows anymore.

11. Voldemort's Final Battle

To the tune of Eva's Final Broadcast

HARRY (To himself, still invisible):
Forgive my intrusion, Tom Riddle, I just have to see
How you admit you have lost a brand new experience.
And now it's set up
All ready for a battle
With hundreds lined up all around.
The Dark Lord hasn't learned the truth, he thinks he's won.
I'm sad for Tom Riddle
Sad he'll be defeated by his own, poor, weak soul.

I want to tell the people
Who fought for Hogwarts
That I'm here, I'm all right, I'm alive
That I still need their love for the journey I'll take.
For I am frightened
And I'm scared I'll be gone
One more person killed by the Dark Lord
One more body to break.

Takes off the cloak

Don't cry for me, Ron, Hermione.
The truth is, I never left you.
I've always been here
Did not desert you.
And now his power
Can never hurt you.

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true!

Voldemort says 'Avada Kedavra', Harry says 'Expelliarmus!' Voldemort falls.

12. Montage

To the tune of the same name

As Voldemort sinks to the ground, his life flashes before his eyes.

HARRY:
He had his moments, he had great skill.
The worst sight in town was the light
From Dark Marks cast by the servants
Of Lord Voldemort.

DUMBLEDORE:
Riddle, beware your ambition…

TOM:
Who needs the Muggle classes?
I will never forgive them
And they will never deny me anything again.
My father's other family were Muggles and
They didn't care about me
Don't know I exist
That's their funeral.

OLDER TOM:
It seems crazy, but you must believe
There's nothing calculated, nothing planned.
Don't assume that I wish to deceive
I was flipping through a book that's banned
And did not understand…

VOLDEMORT:
A new reign of terror
A new wave of mass homicide.
A new reign of terror
For Muggles and Mudbloods
We cannot stop, we will not stop
Until they all have died!

HARRY:
Undying Dark Lord
He's like a cross between
An all-powerful king
Gollum, Ralph Fiennes, Chancellor Palpatine
A skeleton, Michael Crawford, and a snake.

DEATH EATERS:
Faithful, faithful Death Eaters
Give up your wands for your Master
We're going to kill Potter, we're going to kill Potter…

HARRY:
See, you fools, you were in the wrong
Enjoy your sentence, 'cos it's gonna be long.
The Dark Lord's dead, his reign is through
He's not coming back to you.

DEATH EATERS:
Give up your wands for your Master!
We're going to kill Potter, we're going to kill Potter!

HARRY:
See, you fools, you were in the wrong
Enjoy your sentence, 'cos it's gonna be long.
The Dark Lord's dead, his reign is through
He's not coming back to you!

13. Lament

To the tune of the same name

VOLDEMORT'S VOICE OVER:
The choice was mine and mine completely
I could live out my days, die old in peace.
I could burn with the splendor of the Fiendfyre's blaze
Or else… or else… I could play safe.

Remember, I was very strong then
And to die seemed so foreign, far away.
And it scared me-death could never happen to me
But now it's here… and now… it seems okay.

And how I lived, in such fear
And for so long
But now it seems death's found me here.
Oh my Death Eaters, we are done
And now Harry Potter's won.

VOICES:
Cup, snake, book, locket
All to no avail
Strength, magic, fame, power
How could they all fail?

HARRY:
Money was raised to build a monument to those who were killed during Voldemort's reign of terror. It was built in Godric's Hallow, where I finally returned to live in peace after seventeen years.

CURTAIN

Harry Potter the Musical(s)

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