* = Post-OOP
** = Post-HBP
Copyright 2003-2004, 2006-2007 by Caius Marcius except Has Any One Seen Trevor Toad? and Wild About Honeydukes Copyright 2003 by Gail; Revelation: Sirius Copyright 2003 by Maria; Ron of the Burrow Copyright 2003 by Annemehr; I've Got Two Legs Copyright 2004 by Viridis; Basilisk Dance/Grr Argh and Filch's Lament Copyright 2004 by Star Opal; I'm a Muggle, Losing Brooms and The Pottsons Copyright 2004 by Jason LeBouef; All I Ask of You (Reprise) Copyright 2005 by Zaive; We Love You, Harry Copyright 2006 by R.J. Lupin
In my continuing endeavor to see every single Beatle song filked, there are some that are difficult and some that are easy.
This one was TOO easy
A filk by Gail to the tune Why Don't We Do It In The Road? by the Beatles
Imagine poor ol' Neville running around the Gryffindor Common Room in total exasperation, looking for Trevor and interrupting everybody with this question:
NEVILLE:
Has any one seen Trevor toad? (repeat 4 times)
He's always hopping away
Has any one seen Trevor toad?
(repeat two more times)
Bagman
To the tune of the theme from Batman (the 1966 TV series)
CHORUS:
Wild About Honeydukes
A filk by Gail to the tune of Wild Honey Pie by the Beatles
RON:
I love you!
CMC: Could you retitle it Revolution Number 9 and Three-Quarters?
GAIL: Well...shortly after posting this question, Beatle-freak
Extraordinaire Maria wrote me off-list with this great suggestion. So allow me to
present...
Revelation: Sirius
A filk by Maria to the tune of Revolution Number Nine by the Beatles
It's lame, lame, lame. I suggest you go and get your White Album out
and listen to the original...preferably with headsets on so you can
really appreciate the funky stereo thing going on down on this track. Blow
your mind away.
The Scene: Azkaban. SIRIUS BLACK is incarcerated and being mentally
tortured by the Dementors with the horrible memories for his past
(which include his participation during the Voldemort War, going to school
at Hogwarts, and Quidditch matches of long ago). But just yesterday he
was given a newspaper from the Minister of Magic. SIRIUS saw the rat's
picture and he's at Hogwarts. It has become an obsession now, to escape from
Azkaban and seek revenge against the person who betrayed his trust. And so,
even though these memories keep flashing in his mind, SIRIUS keeps
himself focused by repeating the name of this individual over and over
again...
SIRIUS: Pettigrew...Pettigrew...Pettigrew...
A filk by Annemehr to the tune of the theme song of George of the Jungle
Ron, Ron, Ron of the Burrow;
Sondheim songs are usually difficult to filk due to their length and their intricate rhythms and rhyme schemes. One exception is The Cookie Song, a four-line ditty sung by the clientele of Dr. Detmold's Sanitarium for the Socially Pressured (aka The Cookie Jar)
To the tune of The Cookie Song (I'm Like the Bluebird) from Sondheim's Anyone Can Whistle
HARRY:
A filk by Viridis to the song of the same name by Monty Python
Enter Alastor Moody singing
MOODY:
Enters Death Eater and pulls his wand out. BBAH! BOOM!
Moody on a stretcher is carried to St. Mungo's
I had got two legs...
A filk by Star Opal to the tune of Dawn's Lament from Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Once More With Feeling.
THE SCENE: The Death Day Party. We slowly close up on a sniffling figure on its hands and knees. A flu-stricken Filch grumbles while cleaning up frog brains.
FILCH:
A filk by Star Opal to the tune of Broom Dance/Grr Argh from Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire
Slayer: Once More With Feeling.
THE SCENE: Chamber of Secrets. The Basilisk having just been called by Tom Riddle, tap dances... (As well as a basilisk can tap dance). It then turns towards Harry...
BASILISK:
A filk by Jason LeBouef This is a filk... er ... or lyrics added to those infamous Losing Horns on The Price is Right game show....There are no words to this bit so you have to sing it rhythmically to the horns and the descending note at the end. And best of all, LEE JORDAN gets to sing.
It's the Quidditch match from PoA, when Gryffindor loses to Hufflepuff.
LEE JORDAN:
A mini-filk by Jason LeBouef to the tune of I'm a Pepper, the Dr. Pepper commercial from the 70s
VERNON:
Points to himself, Petunia, and Dudley
I'm a Muggle, she's a Muggle, he's a Muggle
DURSLEYS
A mini-filk by Jason LeBouef to the theme of The Jetsons
Meet James Potter
Here's what happens at the end of the Pottsons.
LILY (screaming)
To the tune that Tweety Bird frequently sang in his altercations with Sylvester (who was undoubtedly a Kneazle)
THE SCENE: The Headmaster's Office. FAWKES, a phoenix whose song is magical and is reputed to increase the courage of the pure of heart and strike fear into the heart of the impure, sits upon a swing and sings to himself (OK, so, this isn't that particular song)
FAWKES:
Tune in for our next episode, when Fawkes flaps down to the Little Hangleton gravesite and exclaims:
FAWKES: I tawt I taw a Voldy Lord!
And then, just moments later, is heard to declare:
FAWKES: I did, I did, I did taw a Voldy Lord!
To the Slappy Squirrell Intro from Animaniacs
FRED & GEORGE:
QUIRRELL: (spoken)
FRED & GEORGE:
Iris out on QUIRRELLMORT
A filk by Zaive to the tune of the same name from Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera
Sirius Black reflecting on the mistakes he has made....
SIRIUS:
(spoken) Oh James, Lily
(Sung) You will curse the day you did not do
A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of We Love You, Conrad from Bye Bye Birdie
We love you, Harry!
Based on Lizzie Borden Took an Axe
Tommy Riddle took a wand
Based on Ice Cream by Howard Johnson, Billy Moll, and Robert Kin
I itch, you itch
THE SCENE: The Quidditch World Cup, circa 1980. Britain takes the field against Turkey. A CHORUS OF BRITISH FANS burst into song as BAGMAN (accompanied by Goblin, the Boy Wonder) takes the field
Dada-dada-dada-dada-Bagmaaan!
Dada-dada-dada-dada-Bagmaaan!
Dada-dada-dada-dada-Bagmaaan!
Dada-dada-dada-dada-Bagmaaan!
Dada-dada-dada-dada-Bagmaaan!
Bagmaaan!
Bagmaaan!
Bagmaaan!
Dada-dada-dada-dada-
Bagmaaan!
OK, now go here for a real Batman filk
Gee wilikers, boss! That was pretty durn good. Now I don't feel bad about bringing this one out...
Honeydukes (repeat oh, about 8 times or so)
GAIL: Now how in the world am I going to filk
Revolution Number 9 ?
Ron of the Burrow
Friend to Harry P.
Ron, Ron, flies a Ford Anglia --
(Aaaaaaaaagh!)
Watch out for that tree!
(crunch!)
The Phoenix Song
I'm like the Phoenix
I dissolve in smoke and ash
When I let my temper flash
I'm like the Phoenix…….
I've Got Two Legs
I've got two legs, from my hips to the ground
And when I move them, they walk around
And when I lift them, they climb the stairs
And when...
Filch's Lament (CoS, Chap. 8)
Those little brats don't even notice...
Those little brats don't even care.
Basilisk Dance/Grr Argh (CoS, Chap. 17)
Grr! Argh!
Losing Brooms (PoA, Chap. 9)
We've lost the game
GRYFFINDORS:
Awwwwwwwwww......
I'm a Muggle
I'm such a Muggle and I'm proud
I don't like to stick out in a crowd
But living with a wizard these days
That Potter boy is making me so crazed
We're all Muggles
Wouldn't you like to be a Muggle, too?
The Pottsons
His boy Harry
Here is Lily
She's his wife
James! Stop this crazy man! Help! James!!!!
I'm a Tweet Firebird
I'm a tweet firebird of a noble sage
Fawkes is my name but I don't never age
I don't have to worry 'bout Voldy's tricks;
His AK rays turn me back to a chick.
Professor Quirrell Theme
The sneakiest of teachers with a hat that swirls
Has double features, Professor Quirrell!
Aaah, 'nough with the snowballs, already!
They're snaky!
All I Ask of You (Reprise)
I made you the Keeper
Put my trust in You
And now, how you've repaid me, killed them and betrayed me
You were the spy we'd looked for, I should've known before
All that the Potter's asked of you
We Love You, Harry
Oh yes we do
We love you, Harry
And we'll stay true
The defeater of You-Know-Who
Oh, Harry, we love you!
Tommy Riddle Took A Wand
Sent Dad to the Great Beyond
When he saw what he began
He finished off his Gramp and Gran
I Itch
We all itch for Quidditch
Fly, fly, fly
Bludgers, Beaters
There's nothing more sweeter
High, broom, high.
Miscellany