Fenrir Greyback

A filk by Nelsongirl to the title tune from Man of La Mancha

This takes place when Lupin goes to live among the werewolves. Lupin and Greyback sing in separate locations, but it's still as one song.

FENRIR:
All my life, I've shown loyalty to the Dark Lord
And I helped with his most evil plans
The Dark Lord gives me small children as a reward
I bite and devour all I can
I am I, Fenrir Greyback, the lord of the werewolves
If you have small children, beware!
When the full moon is out and nobody's about
I transform and give children a scare
When I'm a werewolf, I scare
Children had better beware!

LUPIN:
Fenrir Greyback destroyed my whole life with one bite
And that cruelty I'll never forget
As a boy, I went into the forest one night
And the world's fiercest werewolf I met
I am I, Remus Lupin, the spy for the Order
I tell Dumbledore all that I learn
Greyback thinks that I'm his loyal friend and supporter
But for him my hatred still burns
For Greyback my hatred burns
Soon he will suffer in turn!

FENRIR:
I am I, Fenrir Greyback, the lord of the werewolves
Contamination is my goal

LUPIN:
Dumbledore knows exactly what Greyback is up to
He's under the Order's control

FENRIR:
The Dark Lord will soon reach his goal

To the tune of I Want to Make the World Laugh from Jerry Herman's Mack and Mabel

THE SCENE: FENRIR GREYBACK gives a pep-talk to his wolfish minons.

GREYBACK:
I totally like all
Effects of the cycle
When I'm made to be a werewolf
That place where Buzz Aldrin once planted a flag
Gives me two more legs and a tail to wag
Just let me explain, be-
Tween me and Lon Chaney
There's really not much of a gulf
When wizards see the full moon rising, they cringe
They know they gotta meet us, the lunatic fringe
It's better than average
To monthly get savage
When... I'm made to be a werewolf!

It's truly a great gift
When we get to shape-shift
When we're made to be a werewolf
When a lycanthrope through the countryside runs
They melt their best silver to put in their guns
They once called you timid
A bit of a dim kid
Or maybe they said you're a goof
Thanks to a gibbous trend in the lunar orbit
Those who look down on you may be soon sore bit
We revel in moonshine
As it turns us canine
'Cause ... we're proud to be a werewolf!

GREYBACK AND CHORUS OF WEREWOLVES
How can we keep scowling
When we're out there howling
Once - we transform into werewolves
The people we hunt down, and pounce on and hurt
Just 30 days later to our side convert
The anti-wolf hype all
Against my/your disciples
Does not really matter a poof

GREYBACK
Let Umbridge bring it on with her hemmingest frown:
We're gonna huff and puff and then blow her house down

GREYBACK AND CHORUS OF WEREWOLVES
We sing this grand carol
When we're growing feral
'Cause... we're proud to be a werewolf!