Copyright 2001, 2002 by Caius Marcius
To the tune of Born Free by John Barry
THE SCENE: Madam Pomfrey's infirmary, late at night. It is deserted save for one lone occupant. Once again - and who knows why this time - HARRY is confined to bed
HARRY
Pomfrey
A victim of cursing
Requires much nursing
Which she is equipped to provide
Pomfrey
Whether recouping from Voldy
Or a common cold, she
Is always there at my side
Pomfrey
With her I can calm be
On her ward I stay more
Often than at Gryffindor
Pomfrey
Her manner won't charm you
But she can re-arm you
If skeletal parts disappear
Pomfrey
She loves peace and quiet
She'll read you the riot
Act if your noise reaches her ear
Pomfrey
I know it's now lights out
But I once more light out for an
Emergency!
HARRY dons his invisibility cloak and exits
To the tune of Little Richard's Keep a Knockin'
THE SCENE: The Waiting Room of the Infirmary, where Harry is again hospitalized. A huge crowd comprised of both Harry's well-wishers and ill-seekers are being denied entry by the imposing MADAM POMFREY
POMFREY
The Dark Lord says he needs a pint of blood
It's Quidditch practice time, says Ollie Wood.
Ron says he's bearing some urgent summons
They keep a knockin', but they can't come in
Herm says she needs to teach him Accio
The Slytherins all miss their favorite foe (woooo)
And here's a strange seat from the Weasley twins
They keep a knockin', but they can't come in (woow)
First Albus came here to recite maxims
Then Dobby dropped by for some head-bangin'
And Molly came to give some motherin'
They keep a knockin', but they can't come in
POMFREY addresses the crowd directly
I'm telling everyone from Black to Lupin
This boy is delicate and needs restin' (wooo)
He has to start his recuperatin'
And when he's finished, you can all come in (woooow)
Yeah
Awwhoooo
Disappointed but obedient, EXEUNT quietly OMNES in response to POMFREY's imperious command