The Department of Mysteries Floor

A filk by Stella to the tune of Magical Mystery Tour

Come up, come up to the Department of Mysteries Floor
Go right this way
Come up, come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, I've just sent him a vision
Come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, He'll soon go on a mission
Come up to the Mysteries Floor
He'll come to the Mysteries Floor
To take his godfather away…take his godfather away

Come up, come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, I'll get the prophecy I need
Come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, I am certain to succeed
He'll come to the Mysteries Floor
To take his godfather away…take his godfather away

The Department of Mysteries
Aaaahhhh

The Department of Mysteries Floor
Come up, come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, I've just sent him a vision
Come up to the Mysteries Floor
Come up, He'll soon go on a mission
Come up to the Mysteries Floor

He'll come to the Mysteries Floor
To take his godfather away…take his godfather away
He'll come to the Mysteries Floor
To take his godfather away…take his godfather away,
Take him today

A filk by Stella to the tune of The Fool on the Hill

Day after day, alone in the hall
A giant with a cardboard box is keeping perfectly still
Nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's half-giant
Eventually they expelled him

He's the fool in the hut
Who walks up the school grounds
And he uses his umbrella
To help him get around

Well on the way, he walks through the town
When Dumbledore walks up to him and says perfectly loud
"Hagrid, we need you to go and get the Potter boy"
He left and no one noticed

The fool in the hut
Who walks up the school grounds
And he uses his umbrella
To help him get around

Flying is instrumental. This is the song that was playing on the radio while Harry and Ron were flying the Ford Anglia to Hogwarts

A filk by Stella to the tune of Blue Jay Way

HARRY:
There's a fog out side today
My cousin has lost his way
"I will knock you out" he says
Now I've lost my wand instead

Please don't stay long
Please don't you stay very long
Please don't stay long
Or we may have no souls

As my hands searched for my wand
I knew my time was almost gone
Dudley lay there on the street
A dementor he'd soon meet

Please don't stay long
Please don't you stay very long
Please don't stay long
Or we may have no souls

I said Lumos to my wand
Because my soul may soon be gone
Soon will be the break of day
Sitting here in Wisteria Way

Please don't stay long
Please don't you stay very long
Please don't stay long
Or we may have no souls

Please don't stay long
Please don't you stay very long
Please don't stay long
Or we may have no souls

A filk by Stella to the tune of I Am the Walrus

SNAPE:
Look right here, you are here
Driving the car that Muggles saw up flying
If you were both in Slytherin house
You'd be expelled…Explain yourselves.

RON:
We were at the platform, walking through the barrier
We couldn't get through, then the train left without us
We didn't have any choice,
We had to take the car.

HARRY:
We really had to.

SNAPE:
The Muggles saw you.

DUMBLEDORE:
Quiet, Professor.
It's not up to you.

SNAPE:
They flew here from London city,
Risking the exposure of our world
Look at them fly that car up in the sky
A damaged tree, too…They're flying
They're fly- they're flying
They're fly-

RON:
That's alright, Professor
We'll go up and get our things

McGONAGALL:
What do you mean, Weasley?
I will not expel you
Well at least I won't expel you today, anyhow

HARRY:
Thank you, Professor

SNAPE:
I hate you, Potter
They should expel you
I can't stand you two

McGONAGALL:
Still, I must impress upon you
Of the seriousness
Of what you've done, you'll get detention
And a letter to your folks

DUMBLEDORE:
You're free to go now
I hope that you know now
Not to take flying cars up to school
Off to bed, you two

Back up in the common room there
is a party that was planned for you (hohoho, hehehe, hahaha)
See how they laugh
All on your behalf
See how they think you're amazing

Fred and George are jealous
Back up in Gryffindor tower
"Why couldn't you let us come
With you in the flying car?"
Man, you should have seen their faces
When we said hello.

Got away from Fred
Ron was filled with dread
Climbed up the steps and went up to bed
As our story was spread

Random muttering

A filk by Polish Girl to the tune of I Am The Walrus

I am here and you are here
an' we're not s'posed to be together
I'm not gonna run like a bullet from a gun
Not gonna try to fly
I'm crying
Sitting in the stands
Waiting for you to catch the Snitch
Population debates, stupid bloody Chamber
Potter you been a rotter

You let the Bas'lisk go

I am a Weasley
I have six brothers
I am Virginia
Goo goo g' joob

Professor Snape sneakin'
Greasy little git, always in a row
Watchin' how you fly like a blur in the sky
I'm not gonna run
I'm crying
You're crying, we're crying
Twitchy little ferret
Bouncing like a rubber ball
Minute little Flitwick
Goddess of knowledge
Filch, where is your Norris girl
Knickers has she not

I am a Weasley
I have six brothers
I am Virginia
Goo goo g' joob

Sitting in my little corner
Waiting for HIM to come
If he don't come I'll have a cold bum

From sitting on the concrete floor

I am a Weasley
I have six brothers
I am Virginia
Goo goo g' joob

Expert Seeker meanie Malfoy
Don't you think my brothers laugh at you?
See how they smile like angels in the sky
See how they sneak!
You're crying

Professor Sprout climbing the Whomping Willow
Silly old Lockhart singing his own praises
Man, you should have seen them kissing
Nearly Headless Nick

I am a Weasley
I have six brothers
I am Virginia
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo
juba juba juba
juba juba juba
juba juba juba juba
juba juba

A filk by Stella to the tune of Strawberry Fields Forever

Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to the Quidditch field
Where life is surreal
There's nothing to get hung about
We'll play Quidditch forever

Living is easy when you know
how to play Quidditch up with me
Playing is never hard and you know it will always work out

Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to the Quidditch field
Where life is surreal
There's nothing to get hung about
We'll play Quidditch forever
No one, I think, would disagree
Zooming around up high and low
Leaving behind all your troubles,
It's suddenly alright and nothing ever will be bad

Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to the Quidditch field
Where life is surreal
There's nothing to get hung about
We'll play Quidditch forever

Some people hate our sport, but to me
it always feels just like a dream
And I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong
It always seems just right to me

Let me take you down
'Cause I'm going to the Quidditch field
Where life is surreal
There's nothing to get hung about
We'll play Quidditch forever

We'll play Quidditch forever

We'll play Quidditch forever

A filk by Stella to the tune of Penny Lane

In the D.A., there is a table full of sneakoscopes
And there are many shelves of books lining the walls
In the room Dobby calls 'Come and Go' Harry stares at Cho

As the twenty-eight begin to fill the D.A. room
Marietta will soon stab them in the back Yet, disarming skills the students lack
Smith's wand flies away
Very strange

The D.A. is in my ears and in my eyes
Filled with students as I hear them cry… 'Expelliarmus'

By lesson three, Parvati mastered the reductor curse
Bringing some Dark Detectors out of the scene
Zacharias Smith is acting mean
But it goes unseen

The D.A. is in my ears and in my eyes
Fighting Umbridge who we all despise…behind her back

Harry Potter is proud of his new Defense class
In O.W.L.s they all are sure to get an 'A'
And though he wishes that he could stay
They leave anyway

They take a galleon that will tell them when the meetings are
The idea taken from the Dark Lord's men
Hermione used a protean charm on them
To make them the same
Very strange

The D.A. is in my ears and in my eyes
In the room that no one else can find we practice all we can
The D.A. is in my ears and in my eyes
Practicing away from prying eyes

The D.A…

A filk by Gryffleraverin to the tune of Penny Lane

Draco Malfoy sings maliciously (and yes, a bit jealously) about 'that scar-headed egomaniac' named Harry Potter. He breaks rules, lies - and isn't expelled! (Never mind that Malfoy does the same, of course.) Draco is in the Slytherin Common room, pouting.

MALFOY
Potter's fame; there is a first year buying photographs
And that scar head, he's had the pleasure to know
That all the first years here come and go will say 'My hero!'
In second year he came to school in a flying car
The stupid Gryffindors laughed while patting his back
And the teachers never take his map 'cause he has his fame
Very lame

Potter's fame, gets on my nerves, him I despise
Yet the teachers all believe his lies
I sit, wishing to do him in

Potter's fame; he went back in time with an hourglass
Set free a convict awaiting the kiss of doom
He doesn't keep his Firebolt well-groomed
Mine's a well-groomed broom

Potter's fame gets on my nerves, him I despise
Doing magic he tries to hide
In summer meanwhile back-

In the hospital in the middle of a corridor
A clucky nurse-her name is Poppy-gives him his tray
Though she knows he's in there every day
She doesn't say
Potter's fame, the teachers love all the Gryffindors
We see Headmaster giving all the points to him
They all ignore all his sin 'cause he has his fame
Very lame

Potter's fame, gets on my nerves, him I despise
Yet the teachers all believe his lies
I sit, wishing to do him in
Potter's fame, gets on my nerves, him I despise
Yet the teachers all believe his lies
Potter's fame

A filk by Stella to the tune of Baby, You're a Rich Man

HAGRID:
My name is Rubeus, I'm the gamekeeper at Hogwarts
I've come to tell you what you are
You're a wizard, Harry

HARRY:
None of that can be true at all
You can't really mean me

HAGRID:
Have you ever made anything happen
when you were sad?

VERNON:
He'll never be going there.

HARRY:
How could you two have known?

VERNON:
We won't pay to send him there.
My final answer's 'no'!

HAGRID:
Harry, you're a wizard
Harry, you're a wizard
Harry, you're a wizard, too.
Just like you're parent's were before they died.
I thought you knew.
They're so untrue.
Harry, you're a wizard
Harry, you're a wizard
Harry, you're a wizard, too.

Now that you know that you're one of the magical people,
You can come leave with me.
I will take you away.
You'll go to Diagon Alley.

HARRY:
I don't know what to say.

I'll soon be a wizard
I'll soon be a wizard
I'll soon be a wizard, too.
I won't have to stay here for one more day
Now I'll have friends.
A magic wand, too.

HAGRID:
(Harry) Harry, you're a wizard
Harry, you're a wizard
Harry, you're a wizard, too.

HARRY:
I'll soon be a wizard
I'll soon be a wizard
I'll soon be a wizard, too.

A filk by Stella to the tune of All You Need is Love

SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW

SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
There's no elf you can free that can't be freed
You always have to help an elf in need
And for their justice we will fight in their name
It's easy.

SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
We need to make the people understand
And for their rights we will demand
Elves will be free everywhere we can expand
It's easy.

All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need

All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need

SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
No house-elf can be freed without you
That's why everyone should join SPEW
Think of all the things that we can do by ourselves
It's easy.

All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need

All you need is SPEW
(Altogether now) All you need is SPEW
(Everybody now) All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need

SPEW is all you need (SPEW is all you need)
SPEW is all you need (SPEW is all you need)
SPEW is all you need (SPEW is all you need)