Flying Blue Machine by Mariner
Every Flavor Beans by Pippin
Only a Sorting Song by Constance Vigilance
Fly Together Now by Gail
Hey Grim Dog by Gail
At Hagrid's Hut by Gail
All You Need is SPEW by Stella
Copyright 2002-2004 by Mariner, Pippin, Constance Vigilance, Gail, and Stella
A filk by Mariner to the tune of Yellow Submarine by the Beatles
HARRY:
In the station of King's Cross,
Between platforms ten and nine,
There's a secret passageway
Only wizard folk can find.
But we crashed into a wall
When we tried to make that scene,
Now we have to get to school
In a flying blue machine.
HARRY AND RON:
We went up in a flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
We went up in a flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
RON:
All our friends are on the train,
Probably wondering where we are.
And I wish we had some food.
HARRY AND RON:
There's no food in the flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
There's no food in the flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
HARRY:
As we tried so hard to land,
The Whomping Willow made its attack.
I'm afraid that we've been seen;
Snape is going to vent his spleen.
HARRY AND RON (simultaneously with below):
We went splat! in the flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
We went splat! in the flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
SNAPE (simultaneously with above):
Caught two brats in a flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
Caught two brats in a flying blue machine,
Flying blue machine, flying blue machine.
You can keep your caramel corn
Muggle candy treats are not for me
Cause I'd rather spend my life
Eatings bags of Bertie's Beans
Chorus (2x)
We all love eating Every Flavor Beans
Every Flavor Beans
Every Flavor Beans
So we nibble on each one
Then we frown if it's sardine
Cause each mouthful's a surprise
With an Ev-er-y Flavor Bean
Chorus
We get all we can afford
From the Honeyduke's candy store
Rubber band or cheese souffle
(lalala la,lalalala,lalalala,lalalala, ewww!)
Chorus
A filk by Constance Vigilance to the tune of Only a Northern Song.
THE SCENE: After sitting on a shelf in Dumbledore's office all year, it's the Sorting Hat's annual moment in the sun. The Hat knows that It, its song and the Sorting Ceremony, is all that is keeping 1,000 hungry teenagers from their Welcoming Feast.
If you're listening to this song
You may think it's lasting way too long.
But it's fate;
The Feast will just have to wait.
It doesn't really matter if I cast a spell
Wait for it, I'm going to tell! What the Hell!
This is my Sorting Song
It doesn't really matter what the Founders said
Because the Four have long been dead! And gone.
And it's Only a Sorting Song.
Once a year I strut my stuff
Shout out "Gryffindor!" or "Hufflepuff!"
Just like that - And my word is enough.
It doesn't really matter what house I choose
Because win or lose, you can always refuse.
As it's Only a Sorting Song.
It doesn't really matter if your Feast is late.
Sit and wait. Contemplate an empty plate.
Make a date, for a Sorting Song.
Some make speeches short and sweet:
"Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak."
That's OK, but where's the mystique?
From year to year I get to sing a song for you
And when I'm through, you get to chew.
And now, everyone, please do!
The tables fill with food and stomach grumbling sounds are replaced with delighted sounds of eating
A filk by Gail to the tune of All Together Now
MOODY & (THE ADVANCE GUARD CHORUS):
One, two, three, four
We've been sent by Dumbledore
Five, six, seven eight, nine, ten
To get you
Tonks, Doge, Jones, Vance
We're not taking any chance
Podmore, Lupin, and Kingsley
(seeing the signal of green sparks) There's our cue
(bom bom bom bom-pa bom) Do not stop
(bom-pa bom) If we're slain
(bom-pa bom) The Rear Guard
(bom-pa bom) Will remain
*Fly together now (Fly together now!)
Close together now! ( Close together now!)
Fly together now! (Fly together now!)
Close together now! (Close together now!)
Up, down, left, right
We'll protect you when in flight
Front, rear, and circle all around
Surround you
*repeat
(bom bom bom bom-pa bom) Need more height
(bom-pa bom) Double back
(bom-pa bom) Stay alert
(bom-pa bom) For attack!
*repeat until you work yourself into an ecstatic frenzy
A filk by Gail to the tune of Hey Bull Dog
HARRY
Grim dog - seeing you again
Black dog - driving me insane
Some sort of ill fortune comes just by seeing you
They say it's death but I don't know if it is true
First time - you were discovered
Then I'm - almost run over
Could be coincidence or is it that I'm doomed?
It might be bunk but then I don't want to assume
Please stop haunting me, please stop haunting me
Please stop haunting me, I'm asking you to stop haunting me
Saw the - Grim's dark silhouette
It's a - sight I won't forget
Ron's uncle Bilius saw one standing nearby
Twenty-four hours later Bilius had died
Please stop haunting me, please stop haunting me
Please stop haunting me, I'm asking you to stop haunting me
Hey Grim dog, Hey Grim dog
Hey Grim dog, Hey Grim dog
HARRY (spoken): Hey Grim dog.
GRIM: Woof
HARRY: Hey man, who are you boy?
GRIM: Woof
HARRY: Whatta ya say?
GRIM: I said, "Woof"
HARRY: D'ya know any more?
GRIM: Arooooo-wa ah! Ha HA!
HARRY: You got him! Get him! get him, man! Get him! Quiet boy, quiet
GRIM: Okay
HARRY: Hey Grim dog
A filk by Gail to the tune of It's All Too Much
HAGRID: (shouted)
YOU RUDDY COWARDS!
HARRY: (singing)
At Hagrid's hut, at Hagrid's hut
We were taking our O.W.L. test, the class; Astronomy
On the tower, with the rest, below us I could see
To Hagrid's hut Umbridge did come
With several Ministry officials
I could guess why, and I felt numb
They went inside, the door was shut
Several minutes then had passed, pretending not to care
Soon everyone stood aghast at what was happ'ning there
From Hagrid's hut we heard a bang
As they tried Stunning spells on Hagrid
When one of them then attacked Fang
He slang his arm and kicked his butt
Instrumental interlude
Jets of red light bounced off him, as Dawlish tried to Stun
McGonagall was so mad at what was being done
To Hagrid's hut, McGonagall
Came running up, trying to stop them
Somebody screamed, we watched her fall
As Stunners hit her in the gut
Hagrid went nuts and knocked them cold
He picked up Fang and started to leave
Those still there were no longer bold
And watched Hagrid go with his mutt
From his hut
From his hut
RON:
The spells bounced off him, I wonder how come?
HERMIONE:
With his giant blood, he was hard to stun
He's really tough
Hagrid! (repeat and fade out)
A filk by Stella to the tune of All You Need is Love by the Beatles
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
There's no elf you can free that can't be freed
You always have to help an elf in need
And for their justice we will fight in their name
It's easy.
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
We need to make the people understand
And for their rights we will demand
Elves will be free everywhere we can expand
It's easy.
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need
SPEW, SPEW, SPEW
No house-elf can be freed without you
That's why everyone should join SPEW
Think of all the things that we can do by ourselves
It's easy.
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need
All you need is SPEW
(Altogether now) All you need is SPEW
(Everybody now) All you need is SPEW
All you need is SPEW, SPEW
SPEW is all you need
SPEW is all you need (SPEW is all you need)
SPEW is all you need (SPEW is all you need)
SPEW is all you need (SPEW is all you need)